My SON'S name is KYLER do not dead name him at graduation.

My SON'S name is KYLER do not dead name him at graduation.

August 13, 2022
Signatures: 380Next Goal: 500
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Why this petition matters

Started by Dora Lee

2020 was a rough year for everyone, but it was a year that also brought new life. 

 My son asked me to remove this section on my petition and I respect his wishes.

There was a short stay in the hospital, where he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. They told me over the phone, that he identified as they/them with a new name. We didn't have the discharge meeting that was standard with discharge,  because of the pandemic. We literally waited outside in our car in a snow storm,  for him to come out. Someone brought out his bag of stuff and handed it thru the window.  Then he followed.  No advice other than to set him up in counseling. 

He continued using they/them pronouns for almost a year,  before transitioning to he and him with the name Kyler. He has been Kyler ever since. 

It has been a continued struggle with the school.  Last year,  towards the end of the year.  I emailed the school about the continued use of his dead name by the faculty.  I was ignored and my email went unanswered. 

I requested that the principle or counselor call me.  The principle finally did at 8:30 at night.  I did not get far with him,  he told me my child would need to "suck it up" for the rest of the school year, since it was almost over and it could be dealt with next year. He already knew he was leaving our school district and it would not be him dealing with it. 

I pointed out that a teacher had told my son,  they were too old to change and that she would continue to call him, his "God given" name, in front of other students. I still see red when I think about that. (God didn't name him,  I did.  After a character in Stephen King's Dark Tower series.)

The problem wasn't only that teacher,  it extended to lots of teachers and faculty.  And that if staff, did not lead by example in this,  why would the students,  who look to faculty for guidance, call him the right name.

I'd also like to point out,  it is very common in our school district, for teachers to call students by their family/friend given nicknames. I myself went thru school there with being called Nikki,  even though that is not my legal name.

Why could they not call him the right name,  when it affects his mental health tremendously. Why does it have to be such a fight. 

There was a Trans student who graduated from our school,  last year.  She was dead named at graduation and my hearts breaks for her. I do not want this to happen to my child.  

We started with going to registration and I had a conversation with the counselor and the new principle.  They said they would comply and make the teachers use his correct name and pronouns. But that at graduation, he (the principle) had to go by the legal name.  I told him,  the name on the diploma had to be the legal name,  but the name on the PowerPoint and the words that came out of his mouth,  were another story. 

But I clearly got the impression that unless, my son has his name changed before graduation he will be dead naming him, in front of everyone. Kyler does plan to change his name after turning 18 in October,  but it can be a lengthy process and if it isn't done in time,  they will dead name him.

This should not be a thing seniors have to worry about.  They have enough going on in their lives, with everything getting ready to change.  They should not have to worry about being humiliated on what should be the greatest day of their life,  thus far.  

Please help,  Kyler have his name said at graduation. 

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Signatures: 380Next Goal: 500
Support now