A conflict of incredible size and pertinence has recently plagued the halls of this fraternity. My brother, Nick, has entered a relationship with the King of All Evils, the Officer of Destruction, the Knight of Torment, Mack. Despite Mack's current status (blacklisted), Nick has continued this relationship, and made very clear his position in this matter. We, the greater population of the frat, refuse to accept this as reality, and wish very dearly to wake up from this nightmare. I will set forth the following policies, and ensure that an affliction of this magnitude never again comes abreast with this brotherhood. 

The signatory of this petition agrees to the following statutes whereas, 

1) The man known as Nicholas ceases all intimate interaction with Mack

2) Nicholas dare not invite Mack to any event 

3) Nicholas dare not recite any recollection of his short time with Mack 

4a) Nicholas dare not venture from the premises to spend time with Mack 

          4b) Nicholas dare not lie to his brothers about his past or present locations

5) Should Nicholas divert from his fraternal loyalty, the signatory agrees to involve themselves in the consequent punishment