Bring Bird Scooters to Missouri Baptist University

Bring Bird Scooters to Missouri Baptist University

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Joel Perstrope started this petition to MISSOURI Baptist University

My name is Joel Perstrope; I am an activist, a scooter devotee, and a Missouri Baptist Spartan.  I have created this petition to put an end to an opportunity cost—a major "atroxity," if you will—that is quickly becoming unbearable to Missouri Baptist University (MBU).

Over winter break, I was privileged to have my first Bird experience.  Birds are ride-sharing, electric scooters that can be found easily throughout many major cities and college campuses.  They cost $1 to unlock, and $0.15 for every minute thereafter until the end of the ride.

Birds serve a clear, practical purpose—affordable and convenient transportation.  I was able to ride from Forest Park to the Arch and back on the wings of a beautiful Bird for a very reasonable price.  I arrived safely to my destinations, despite attempting some rather gnarly tricks while maintaining impressive speeds.

The more I learned about this company, the more I began to fall in love.  Birds provide opportunities to Good Samaritans by paying them to take in these majestic beasts for charging overnight before releasing them back into the wild the following morning—a huge pro for students looking to finance their next drink from the Perk.

Lastly, in addition to the luxury of affordable transportation and the excitement of new opportunities, Birds bring pain relief.  This one hits home for me.  When taking the slow, cold, inclined walk to and from C-lot every day, I often reflect on the pain my ex-girlfriends have caused me.  However, to quote JT Parr, "When I'm ripping through the streets, it feels like it is mending the rips in my heart."

Imagine my despair when I realized that no Birds have made a nest at MBU.  In order to initiate the process of change, I am collecting signatures on this petition to invite and allow Bird scooters on campus.

The time to pay this opportunity cost has passed; a new era of Birding through the walkways and sidewalks of Missouri Baptist's campus is on the horizon.  Enrollment, experience, and attendance will skyrocket.  Prospective students will never again be forced to choose between (a) a great university that forces students to walk or wait a year for the shuttle and (b) a decent university that has Bird access.  Current students—like myself—know that Birds can limit our time in the harsh conditions of the Missouri weather.  They may even challenge us to attend class and chapel more regularly, as doing so will almost be easier than skipping.  Former students will be blessed to see the exciting new ways Spartans have decided to #ShineOn.

Unlike real birds, Bird scooters do not sing.  However, if they could sing, I know that—at a time such as this—they would choose to chirp the poetic utterances made famous by Kevin Cronin of REO Speedwagon: It's time for me to fly [at Missouri Baptist University].

Please consider signing this petition to affirm your desire to see Birds on MBU's campus.

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