For decades people from all walks of life have enjoyed the privilege of getting absolutely faced from Milwaukee's Best Premium beer. I do not want to carry on in a world where future generations do not have the opportunity to ruin an indefinite number of interpersonal relationships or pee on their living room rug while under the influence of the Beast. Sisters and Brothers, let us not stand idly by and have another staple of American life stripped from our calloused hands. In the words of Dale Earnhardt: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." Fellow beer drinkers - you know what task lay before you, sign this petition so we can get back to chilling on the damn porch.