Mayor Bill De Blasio: For The Love Of God, Resign

Mayor Bill De Blasio: For The Love Of God, Resign

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Very few human beings have ever baffled me as much as NYC Mayor/Former Fringe Presidential Candidate Bill De Blasio.

I have no idea what his purpose is. I cannot name one person or group who supports him. I can’t tell you what dimension of consciousness his brain occupies when he is awake, or where he goes when he sleeps. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s somewhere with cotton candy houses and flying manatees.

I used to think people who said ‘We live in a simulation’ were being ridiculous. The sheer existence of Bill de Blasio—let alone his being our mayor—is enough to make me challenge that belief.

Who designed this man? Where did he come from? What is he still doing here?

The world may never know the answer to the first two. They will be up there with the Loch Ness monster and the Zodiac killings as one of history’s great unsolved mysteries.

But at least there’s an answer to that third question: We can tell our wet paper bag of a leader that if he is going to continue to do the barest of minimums (i.e. putting on his clothes, leaving his house, breathing) then we’d much rather have an actual wet paper bag as mayor. 

If you’d like to do that, please sign below. Of course, even if it gets 7 billion signatures, Billy will insist that he ‘didn’t see it’. Still, I think it’s worth the shot.

 

0 have signed. Let’s get to 200!
At 200 signatures, this petition is more likely to be featured in recommendations!