Stop the passing of time
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Every day I wake up and pour my heart and soul into delaying the eschaton by one more day to ensure it remains imminent. This feels utterly Sisyphean, and has lead me to conclude that the only reasonable action here is to stop time so that I can get some much needed rest.
Therefore I would like to request that everyone stop experiencing the passing of time at precisely 3PM on the 23rd of April in whichever timezone you currently reside. We might as well use the opportunity to be rid of timezone differences too.
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