Reform Australian Courts to better represent the people
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The Australian Court System is out of sync and touch. In Court, you are to be trialed by your 'Peers'. However anyone who has been in court (for work, as a witness or to be in trial) knows that the legal system does not represent us. Instead of being tried by peers we are expected to work with Lawyers, Barristers and Judges whom dress in a way which is out of touch, speak in an Ye Old English manner and generally carry on in a way which the ordinary Australian finds to be poncy.
'My Learned Opponent', 'The Respondent', in general the poshness and correctness. How are ordinary Australians who are meant to comprise the Jury, the witnesses, the victims or the Plaintiff and Defendant meant to hold their own in this strange world? This is exactly what court is, it is a strange world which is Alien to the ordinary Aussie. Court should be about finding the trust, and to do so it should be comfortable. Court should be about finding resolution and being fair. How often is a legal decision lamented by the general Australian public? All too often.
What is proposed is to create the true Australian Court, The Bogan Court. No more fancy suits, wigs and gowns which are a relic of the past. No more funny language. No more attempting to intimidate witnesses who are in the witness box. No more alien worlds which we are expected to understand and obey the laws of.
Give the Judge a thong instead of a gavel. If you must wear a wig, wear a mullet wig. Stop calling the other side 'My Learned Opponent' and call them 'This cunt'. We can do so much better than what we have now. The current court system is so confusing, so inefficient and its downright scary and intimidating. That is not the way it should be. The way to change this is to remove the poncy and posh attributes of court. Who cares if you wear a suit and tie to court over the wife beater, footy shorts and thongs. Who cares if you are not a fancy pants rich bloke. Court is about finding the truth for Australia. The Changes proposed are:
1. Your Honour (Judge) should be replaced with Your Thongness, His Ultimate Cuntship or Simply Bazz;
2. Instead of swearing on the Bible or Affirmation, swear on a VB, or simply state 'I swear not to tell Porky Pies';
3. Thongs should be allowed as formal dress. If you piss the judge of, let the security give em a Thonging;
4. The Judges (Bazz's) gavel is replaced with a Thong, so they can bring the thong down on situations;
5. If you must wear a wig, let it be a mullet wig;
6. Speak in real Aussie terms. Allow the use of true Aussie language instead of all this proper crap;
7. Allow those in the witness box to speak as they wish. They should be able to speak to Bazza freely so that Bazza knows the truth.
Help us bring the Australian Legal System into the 21st Century.
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