Women have to constantly prove that they are/were the service member.  We are asked for our sponsor’s information even when presenting the same identification card as a man.  It is bad when members of society question your service, it is even worse when it is done by the Veterans Administration(VA).   
The VA needs to start using gender neutral terms.  My 26 years of service is no different from that of a man that served 26 years.  By making this change, more women would not only feel accepted, they would also feel acknowledged.