As our graph (that we totally made up on the spot) shows, every year on the dates of March 17th and March 18th, productivity steeply declines :(

1. The months posted along the bottom (y-axis) except between March and April, include the specific dates of March 17th and March 18th… if not enough room for those two dates plus all twelve month labels, then do something like January, March, date, date, April, May

2. “productivity” as the label for the x-axis

3. A steady line that shows high productivity (steady across the board as high as it can go) for all months and extremely low productivity (as low as it can go) for the two days mentioned***

A strange and mysterious flu sweeps across the land. Symptoms include headache, upset stomach, and the oddest symptom of all is all the little bits and pieces of green boa feathers and green glitter that appears on the afflicted’s skin, clothing, hair, and pillows.

These dates also just so happen to coincide with the largest St. Patrick’s Day Celebration in the Tampa Bay area at Flanagan’s Irish Pub in Downtown Dunedin.

Offering Irish song and dance, green beer flowing from beer trucks, liquor served inside the pub, and food and art vendors up and down the streets spanning three city blocks, Flanagan’s 20th annual St. Patrick’s Day Festival is going to be a huge hit with guests flying in from all over the country.

With all of the certain strange illness and the fact that the St. Patrick’s Day Festival falls on Thursday, March 17th from 11am to 11pm, why don’t all employers offer paid time off to increase employee morale and support their staff during these unprecedented times?

Sign our petition to require that all employers give their staff paid time off on March 17th and March 18th of every year from this day forward.