make little caesars open 24 hours

make little caesars open 24 hours

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Tyler Cohn started this petition to Little Caesars Pizza and

listen sometimes a mans just wants pizza at 2am but no one is open. little caesars can be the cure to this problem. face it, it's a necessity.

now i know what you're thinking:

"if we're going to keep a store open 24 hours, shouldn't we make it pizza hut?"

listen. pizza hut has superior pizza but little caesars is the superior pizza place. their pizza is affordable to any degree and for us broke students who can't sleep, a 2am $5 hot & ready is the cure to our collective depression. 

i'm calling all vegetarians to support this for the sake of cheese pizza. i'm calling all students to support this for the sake of cheap pizza. i'm calling all nocturnal shift workers to support this for the sake of nighttime pizza. i'm calling all pizza lovers to support this for the sake of pizza.

i'm calling upon republicans to support this, for the sake of creating jobs for americans. i'm calling upon immigrants to support this for the sake of creating jobs for you to fill upon starting your new life. i'm calling upon democrats to support this for the sake of extra sales tax upon this new pizza that would have gone otherwise unsold. i'm calling upon libertarians to support this for the sake of the freedom to eat pizza at any time of day. i'm calling upon capitalists to support this for the sake of improving the business and allowing consumers to consume what they want, when they want. i'm calling upon communists to support this for the sake of our mutual and shared love of pizza, and the camaraderie that accompanies a mutual love for something so special.

i'm calling upon little caesars' executives to support this for the sake of more sales and tapping into an otherwise untapped market of nighttime pizza. i'm calling little caesars corporate to support this for the sake of knowing each night you can go to sleep knowing your customer base is happy not just from 10am-10pm but 24 hours a day. i'm calling upon little caesars employees to support this for the sake of more opportunities for more hours to get more money and buy more of whatever your heart desires.

the cultural divide in america is strong, but our mutual love for pizza is stronger. men and women of any race, creed, class, religion, or sexual identity can sit down at 2am to share a pizza and discuss friendly topics. there isn't a single problem that the world cannot solve by the implementation of nighttime pizza, and i call upon little caesars to be the frontrunner of this worldwide change.

sign this petition not only for 24 hour pizza, but for a greater worldwide society.

-tyler

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