Replace the Cougareat piano bench with a dunk tank
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The Cougareat Piano has plagued the lives of hungry college students for too long. Those wishing to eat their Beefy 5-Layer without being assaulted by some freshman's Paul-Cardonesque pop medley he learned from a Synthesia tutorial on YouTube. I propose a simple solution likely to appease all parties: add a dunk tank to the piano bench.
- Reduces noise pollution
- Year-round fundraiser
- Creates jobs
- Freshmen still get attention
- Girls will be just as (un)impressed
- Now jocks can show off, too!
- Projected to raise Cougareat's Google Review score .37 points
- We would have more dunk tank pianos than University of Utah
- Too much support, not conducive to opposition in all things
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