Replace the Cougareat piano bench with a dunk tank

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The Cougareat Piano has plagued the lives of hungry college students for too long. Those wishing to eat their Beefy 5-Layer without being assaulted by some freshman's Paul-Cardonesque pop medley he learned from a Synthesia tutorial on YouTube. I propose a simple solution likely to appease all parties: add a dunk tank to the piano bench.


  1. Reduces noise pollution
  2. Year-round fundraiser
  3. Creates jobs
  4. Freshmen still get attention
  5. Girls will be just as (un)impressed
  6. Now jocks can show off, too!
  7. Projected to raise Cougareat's Google Review score .37 points
  8. We would have more dunk tank pianos than University of Utah


  1. Too much support, not conducive to opposition in all things

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