The true meaning of consent.

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The parameters of consent need to be defined.

I recently participated in consentual sex - consent based on the fact that we would be using a condom.

The man I was with led me to believe he had gotten a condom and put it on, and so we had sex.

It was not until completion of the act that I found out he did not in fact wear a condom. I did not consent to unprotected sex.

Too many people, regardless of gender, are having to deal with the sick practice of ‘Stealthing’.


Regardless of the fact of prior consent (given under the condition of wearing a condom), stealthing is a breach of that consent by deception. Stealthing is physical and sexual assault. It is not an act that is agreed upon. Deceiving someone into thinking you are practicing safe sex puts peoples health at risk. This is not acceptable!

I have been told by police officers in my area that because I consented to sex, the fact that he did not wear a condom is not a crime and "as a woman you should be more careful". I even had a police officer I know personally tell me that I should be able to feel the difference between a condom and no condom.

This is akin to victim blaming. This is also not acceptable!


It is time the lawmakers caught up and officially make Stealthing a criminal act.



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