Why this petition matters
The month of February has always been bad throughout human history. Everyone is affected by this awful and treacherous month. It does nothing for the greater human good and honestly it is basically just more opportunities for the year to suck. If we cancelled February, then there would be no such thing as Valentine’s Day, which would save America from poverty thanks to gold digging significant others and depression thanks to being single. Also, Galentine’s day is a sexist holiday that only benefits those who identify as “gals”. As a male, I feel discriminated against. We are solving critical issues in today’s society such as racism and toxic masculinity. Why don’t we solve another plague to society and eliminate the most toxic month ever created in human history. Another worrisome problem with February is the fact it can’t decide how many days it has. I want a month that knows how to decide the proper number of days and not change its mind every four years. In a troubling world like today, we do not need instability. We need unity. And there is absolutely no greater thing to Unite under than the immediate termination of the second month (or should I dare say plague) called February. Please sign so we can get Joe to pass an executive order.