Petition Closed
Petitioning Wunderjumper, Esq. Joseph Jeremiah Murphy, Jr. and 1 other

Be Marisa's boyfriend. Officially. On Facebook, even.

Joe told me that being my boyfriend would require a two-thirds majority. Uncertain as to how this might translate into the real world, I asked if an online petition would suffice. Joe answered, "Sweetie, the Mob runs this town. Petitions are for dreamers." After quoting John Lennon, I pressed for a specific number of signatures. He said 214. He arrived at this figure via The Relationship Matrix. Do not ask him how he accesses this Matrix. Trust me. You don't want to know.

This petition was delivered to:
  • Wunderjumper, Esq.
    Joseph Jeremiah Murphy, Jr.
  • Potential Girlfriend
    Marisa Lynn

    Marisa Sarnacki started this petition with a single signature, and now has 218 supporters. Start a petition today to change something you care about.

    The only way Joseph Jeremiah Murphy, Jr. will listen

    Every signature matters and makes the petition more powerful. Add your name today and help us win.