Petition Closed

Be Marisa's boyfriend. Officially. On Facebook, even.

This petition had 218 supporters

Joe told me that being my boyfriend would require a two-thirds majority. Uncertain as to how this might translate into the real world, I asked if an online petition would suffice. Joe answered, "Sweetie, the Mob runs this town. Petitions are for dreamers." After quoting John Lennon, I pressed for a specific number of signatures. He said 214. He arrived at this figure via The Relationship Matrix. Do not ask him how he accesses this Matrix. Trust me. You don't want to know.

Today: Marisa is counting on you

Marisa Sarnacki needs your help with “Joseph Jeremiah Murphy, Jr.: Be Marisa's boyfriend. Officially. On Facebook, even.”. Join Marisa and 217 supporters today.