Banish city hall to Snake Island
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The citizens of Nanaimo are sick and tired of the focus at city hall on drama and fighting, instead of a focus on actual governance. So, we, the citizens of Nanaimo, are banishing our municipal elected representatives and senior public servants to Snake Island, for a Lord of The Flies/MMA Cage Match-style, last man or woman standing, winner take all, froofaroo. Each person will be allowed only a Bowie knife, ceramic cup, and paperback version of Sun Tzu's Art of War, with the last chapter ripped out. The Island will be blockaded by a flotilla of bathtubs and angry Orcas, but once a week Harbour Air will drop a bag of gummy worms and smarties for our leaders to fight over.
The winner can crown themselves Imperial Emperor of the Millstone and hand out leaflets on the harbour without fear of ticketing from bylaw. May the best man or woman prevail!
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