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Jay Weatherill: please don't stop us grieving our foster child – we're parents like anyone else

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I was foster parent and guardian to Finn, my beautiful little 3-month old nephew. But when he passed away from kidney complications three weeks ago – we were suddenly told we had no right to have anything to do with his funeral or be acknowledged on the death certificate. 

We're devastated by losing Finn. He was so young. Now this cruel bureaucratic rule means we were being shut out of mourning for him. We were not to know the coroner's finding or even have a say in the funeral or even to view the child. 

To make it even worse – I am not allowed on the death certificate, but it will get posted out to me because I was his foster mum?! It's just wrong and I don't want any other foster parent to have to go through this nightmare.

Finn was my brother's child. There were circumstances that meant he just couldn't look after a newborn – so my husband and I adopted Finn and were to be his legal guardians until he was an adult. Any biological parents should of course get a say, but we loved and cared for little Finn and were the only parents he knew. 

We just want some basic recognition and respect – like any parent would expect. 

I'm not just fighting this for me. We're trying to move on and heal now from losing Finn, but this is a rule that excludes all foster parents from mourning when a child passes. It's not right, and I think Premier Jay Weatherill needs to ensure this is fixed so foster parents aren't treated like they didn't exist if a child they've supported and adopted dies.

Foster parents should be able to have a say and not be shut out when a child they loved and supported passes.Please help me. 

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