GET JACK FALES' LEGS SHAVED!!!

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Jack Fales needs to get his legs shaved to increase his swimming performance. Should he shave his legs, he speed could increase tenfold. Michael Phelps, an Olympic swimmer, says, "Jack Fales should shave his legs so he can be like me: a winner, and not like he is right now: a loser." The aquadynamic boost he would receive from his sleek, newly-shaved legs would give him a one-up over all his fellow swimmers. Local Russian women (in his area) give their input, too: "Jack Fales is so dreamy! But, if he shaved his legs, he could be even hotter! *sighs* I do love me some Jack Fales; what a hunk of a man! Hubba bubba!" So, what are you waiting for; help Jack Fales win with women and in the water by signing this petition! 



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