Raise a generation of healthy adults

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  •  Invalidation  is a worldwide disease

How many times have you been told by another individual in your school, your social circle, your family, friends, peers, community statements such as

''get over it '' ''move on already!'' ''just forget about it''

''you shouldn't feel that way!'' ''be happier'' ''Smile!'' ''Stop crying!''

''Why do you think like that'' ''You're wrong!'' ''Thats wrong!'' 

''People have it worse off than you'' ''Be grateful '' 

There is not one human being on this planet who has not experienced having their realities denied, neglected, shamed, or trivialised and it should not just take a psychologist to be aware of the psychological damages this does to an individual throughout their lives.

Many people in charge  point the fingers towards parents and families to teach their children, both in theory and practice emotional health and wellbeing. 

That would be okay if thecost of living did not have both parents working full time to survive, where as an international community both parents are working and are unable to give the young children and a generation at large the attention, care, patience and validation that they need.  

It is a truth that unaware parents often carry the trauma of their own invalidations throughout their lives that are passed onto their children.

So with children barely having their basic needs met at home,

we can not continue looking at these struggling adults, who are wanting the best for their children but can only do so much, to be providing and doing the seemingly impossible for their children. 

The schooling system and support outside of the family can create an alternative for that individual.

So that they have the ability to learn and grow within themselves, outside of home.

We need to recognise that having this cost of living, and having this be the case in families, to point the finger towards our education systems and the people in charge to be implementing classes and the importance of basic emotional and psychological wellbeing, validation and interpersonal skills in an emotionally safe environment.

  if we, as a human kind, continue to neglect our emotional wellbeing, and the wellbeing of our children and generations to come.. it will be unsustainable, the deepest disconnection and destruction will be more of a reality and we will all suffer as a result.

The more we feel reflected upon and validated, the less we need materially. The more in touch we feel in ourselves, the world, the animals, and each other, the better shot we have as a human collective to raise our awareness and achieve world peace. 

Right now, you are reading this. 

Ask yourself, does something feel off to you this day and age? almost as though something feels as though its missing? like somethings not right?

I can promise you that you stand right and true in that.. The most important pillar for genuine human connection is being forgotten and neglected, which is the intimacy and genuine acceptance of our own experiences as well as others. 

I know that you have read the statement, '' Invalidation is a worldwide disease '' 

allow me to elaborate on this so that we can create a better understanding together.

Invalidation has become so deeply ingrained within this current, and the previous generations that it has become apart of our language as human beings all around the world, and the worst part is that society turns a blind eye to this.

When an individual has their thoughts, emotions, perceptions and beliefs ignored, denied, neglected or trivialised

it in turn, creates a trauma and an injury to the individuals sense of self at the deepest level, further intensifying their pain and disabling the individuals ability to function, thrive connect, and their willingness to feel their full spectrum of human emotions diminishes.

The traumatised, invalidated individual will have absolutely no capacity to validate the next human being who begins sharing their thoughts, emotions, perceptions and beliefs, its guaranteed that the invalidation will be passed on, to injure the next individual.

What happens when we are invalidated is that it creates an emotional wound within us, it intensifies already existing pain, creates an instability in our sense of self and how we perceive the world.

When another individual tells us, in our vulnerabilities, its not okay to feel the way that we feel, that its not okay to think the way we think,  or that its not okay to believe what we believe starting from a young age especially, we create a split and a fragmentation within ourselves where emotions are suppressed.

When emotions are suppressed, and when we learn that certain aspects of ourselves are acceptable, versus unacceptable, the unacceptable emotions don't go away. 

They begin to fester, and our trauma due to invalidation manifests throughout our behaviours, basically, we get our need for reflection and validation in roundabout, manipulative and exploitive ways at the cost of others health and wellbeing. 

The two invalidated individuals I explained in the scenario above, are going to continue to pass it on, as well as desperately suppressing their emotions, creativity and sensitivity, Completely afraid of speaking their truths to another being again.

 When emotions are suppressed long enough, it has been proven that an individual who can not and is not willing to experience their legitimate emotional pain develops mental illnesses, its my personal opinion that it creates blockages, and manifests as physical illnesses.

 it becomes dangerous, because we raise generations who find it safer  believing that they ''don't need anybody'' because we are ''fiercely independent''

though, the reality is.. We are desperately lonely and have no clue how to begin making real, lasting, authentic human bonds with eachother. 

This type of mindset which is born out of chronic invalidation coming from our families and societies is where abusers, recklessness and violence occurs and we all feel shame as an international community as a result of our joy being disrupted.

Our world has become an incredibly emotionally dangerous place where millions of people are stuck in depression and apathy, looking externally for the validation they never received, from others who are in the same position.  

None of us are safe from invalidation. None of us. Its time we begin recognising the importance of these basic life skills. Its time we recognise that the young generations, the children to come depend on both the theory and practice validation and interpersonal skills will equip them with. 

Lets strike invalidating statements from our vocabulary and reject it from our society, our small communities, and our international communities and the planet.

The aim of this petition is to begin recognising as an international community the flaws our schooling system, starting from primary school  when it comes to basic life skills and the importance of them,

- Teaching and Praising Validation to oneself and others.

- Clear identification and acceptance of our needs, and how to go about meeting them in healthy ways. 

- Interpersonal skills 

- What are boundaries how can we accept them 

- Emotional intelligence 

- Embracing our full spectrum of human emotion 

- Creating and maintaining an emotionally safe environment 

The goal of this petition is to raise a number of individual signatures that will demonstrate the international support in the implementation for Validation and interpersonal skills within the schooling environments. 

A compulsory class that will teach children from a young primary school age the necessary life skills which they will be equipped with from a young age, to carry through there lives,

with this, I have the deepest faith that we can finally raise a generation of healthy adults. 

Lets bring validation out of our therapists offices and integrate it into our societies. 

I look forward to having you join me in this movement towards creating and maintaining a healthy world, full of healthy individuals, we can make a difference together.

 

Regards, 

Breanna Boljkovac 

 



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