Let me ask you this: If you somehow unfortunately were involved in a misadventure where human feces wound up on your leg, would you wipe it off your leg with a piece of dry toilet paper? No, of course you wouldn’t, you would get some water involved. That leg is not clean and neither is your butt when you merely wipe with toilet paper. 

The solution to this age old problem is the bidet. For those unfamiliar, a bidet is a system that is now very easily attached to regular toilets where it can splash water up there and even some air dry you off afterwards! Now, you are really clean! 

In this day and age we cannot allow this potential ticking time bomb of poor backside sanitation be ignored any longer. It’s the year 2022 we are in a world destination city. We need our bums to be clean for public safety. Im not exactly sure how this most recent pandemic started but i know that millions of city dwellers walking around with unclean privates definitely didnt help us get through the pandemic any better. 

It’s time for all toilets in San Francisco to be outfitted with bidets for your health. For my health. And for the environment! You know how much water it takes to make toilet paper?! Forget about it!