After spending a day in Henry’s car and listening to the underside of it scrape against speedbumps, I have decided to take action. 

If he raised his suspension by just an inch, passengers won’t have to fear for their life each time he takes a corner or goes over a bump or pothole. Gone will be that sound of metal on concrete, instead replaced by some other mechanical issue that is also an easy fix. 

He also couldn't get out of Wilton Avenue carpark in Southampton because otherwise his car would have got stuck like a shitty seesaw on the kerb. He had to go the long way around to get out. It was very funny, but only in the same way that nerve wracking situations are funny after the fact. 

In his own words, “I didn’t factor in additional people when I lowered it.” Friends and family of Henry, I call to you to open his mind to the comfort of others. Yes, he has Kermit the frog and a monkey puppet plugged into the backseats, but their weight is nothing compared to the weight of friendship, and of friends asking for a cheeky lift. Just an inch, Hen, and you won’t run the risk of your car sitting there like a legless big when the passenger count exceeds three. 

He deserves better. His car deserves better. Everyone within earshot of his car going over a slight incline also deserve better. Let’s make this change happen.