‼️ This is Stithians Parish Council ‼️

We are only allowed to decorate our sons grave with a headstone and flowers. We are not allowed to have a small picket fence around his burial site, no ornaments, no little teddies or sentimental bits that his big brother and sister (who never met him) can put down either. We have been asked to remove the small plaque we have put down for him and 2 windmills which his brother and sister put up for him. PLEASE help us change this!

On the 20th of November 2021, we lost our 5 week old son to severe congenital heart disease. After a huge battle of ups and downs for 5 weeks and 3 days, his little body just couldn't take anymore.

As parents, you never expect to go through the loss of a child and have to then go through the agony of organising a funeral. This is hard for anyone when they lose a loved one.

Never having to have planned a funeral before it was absolutely heart breaking having to put things in place for his burial after just losing him, when it should have been a joyful time at home as a family, before Christmas.

We picked a lovely quiet place with sentimental value to us, as a family, to have his funeral and burial. Arriving at his burial site on the day of his funeral, we were shocked to see that there was no designated resting place for the burial of babies and young children, like there is in most cemeteries now. We later looked at the burial rules and regulations, which we received after signing the burial forms, that we were not allowed to decorate or place anything onto his grave apart from the temporary flower tributes after his burial and a headstone. 

I spoke to the chairman of the parish council today, 8th of August 2022, after trying to contact them for months and having no answer and wanting to speak to them directly rather than through email. I asked if we would be able to put the smallest picket fence up around my sons grave where we would maintain it ourselves and so ourselves and his brother and sister would be able to decorate his final resting place, to which he responded "if we let you, we will have to let everyone else and then it will get out of control". Now, I don't see what the big issue is, I explained then so be it. We would be decorating at our own risk and if anything got damaged that would be on our own heads, not the parish councils, like they do not take responsibility for it now anyway. I explained to him further "I don't think as councillors you all took into consideration of the fact that there would be children buried up there, whether now or in the future. My son is currently the only baby buried up there and with no designated section for babies/young children, as his parents I feel we should be allowed to decorate his grave. Please also take into consideration, no matter the age of the loved one who has passed away, if it was a young family member of yours you would be wanting to put memorials down and make it look nice. If you will not take these into consideration then I'll put together a petition in hopes you will then make a reasonable decision between yourselves. If not, I do plan on taking this matter as far as I can s no one should not be allowed to decorate a loved ones grave".

PLEASE HELP US in getting this petition signed and raise awareness on this matter. I can see it happening an awful lot and really, it shouldn't be a mattered made into an argument, we should be listened to! 

Thank you.