HELP Get My Twin Son's Back Into My Loving Aching Arm's

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I have twin boy's who will be 3 on the 08/06/2018. I had my son's in my care for the first 9 month's. The reason the local authority became involved was because of Jenson and Harrison's so called father my partner at the time became ill with mental health and would get sectioned and the psychiatric doctor who worked for the hospital raised concern when i was pregnant. My ex did not want to engage with the L/A or the mental health services or barca as he would use substances behind my back and this would make his mental state worse and make him paranoid. He was very good at manipulating me as a narcissists person and emotionally black mailing me and making me believe him. Making me believe he was changing as he would not have Psychotic episode's for almost 1 year. The twin's were placed in foster care by a women who was not able to care for both boy's and her elder mother. The foster carer would back stab me i have written in black and white lies told about me from the foster carer and contact supervisor's. i never missed one contact with my beautiful son's and always wanted more time with them but at review meeting's this never got granted. I also got told conflicting advice the L/A told me to go into a refuge with the twin's and the solicitor at the time told me it would not be suitable for them i did not know as i had never been in a refuge before that time. And i changed solicitor's for personal reason's i then had a trainee female solicitor at JWP. She advised me i would have a better chance of getting the boy's back if i went at it alone as a sole carer for the boy's now i was happy to do that but the boy's father did not want me to and would use any way mean's to make me listen to him and if he felt i was not listening to him he would use threat's against me a long list through out the first lot of court proceeding's he would say he would tell the L/A that i was self harming i was unstable and threatened to kill myself he would threaten me with family member's he would burn the house down and threaten the solicitor's. he also would threaten to tell the judge i was planning on taking the boy's abroad and everything was an act. If i went to a refuge he would find me. He would threaten to kill me. He really made me feel so powerless and helpless i did not trust the L/A to tell them what was going on although they had an idea as they referred me to behind closed door's before i told them anything. I did not trust the L/A the system as when i was pregnant i read online forced adoption punishment with out crime this scared me and the last thing i ever wanted was for my babies to be taken away from me. The L/A told lies in court in the beginning on proceeding's said to the judge that the boy's had became emotionally detached from me this was bull the health visitor record's and doctor's record's do not mention any concern's the S/w never mentioned any concern's when she visited us at home so the sly devil played this dirty trick. And she did this because a few day's before the court proceeding's were to take place she found out that the boy's father had been living at the home when he was told not to be living there. I never wanted to mislead them or lie about that but my ex was a MASSIVE burden on me and my mother i was living with at the time i felt so trapped and felt i should not have had to deal with him and his controlling way's and i had two small babies to look after. Not able to think straight because i would have my ex constantly playing manipulating games even when i though he was been genuine and nice. I have been accused of putting my ex's need's before that of the twin's. This is not true how ever it may have looked on the outside and they have no idea how it feel's to be in a relationship with a narcissist. and when that person can control you by using the most precious people in your life against you and the fear i felt every day of the worst happening but i did not know how to stop it. As my ex made me believe he was scared of no one with authority police etc. So i felt no matter what i am not going to be safe he would always remind me he would destroy me and he did. I managed to leave my ex for good on the end of February 2017 Me and my Mum did police statement's for the controlling and coercive behavior when he got questioned no charges were brought against him.. i was so mad i lost my son's because of him and he then get's away with how he treated me. He turned up to the property the Easter weekend in 2017 and i did not communicate with him i phoned the police. I managed to secure my own flat decorating it and making it nice for the boy's. My ex does not know where i live i did a parenting course because the local authority asked me to do one earlier on in the first lot of proceeding's i did this off my own back as well as a domestic violence course with Leed's domestic violence services and a online safe guarding course all with certificates. When the case went back to court with all the new changes i had made and had been separated from my ex for 9 month's. wrote letter's of plea to the judge non of it was enough i poured my heart out to the judge expressing everything i though he should know and be made aware of i also had supporting letter's from family and friend's people that actually know me very well still nothing fazed the judge. Nothing i had done since leaving my ex had been enough in the eye's of the law. And managed to be so strong without my kid's and the abuse i suffered from my ex not turning to drug's or alcohol and with very little support i stood strong and fought and fought for my kid's they were always on my mind and my motivation i only wanted a chance to be the best mummy to my boy's with out the burden of their father in out lives. My son's never was hurt in anyway only ever loved deeply and well looked after i am so proud of them and nothing will ever replace them i am now still fighting for my boy's even when i though all was lost i will never give up on them ever. The boy's guardian who is employed by cafcass and the court did not do her job correctly she even got the ages of my boy's incorrect and other information saying i had left my ex previously and gone back to him which was a lie.. she never met any other family member's and when she came and visited me at my flat everything we discussed she twisted and lied about in her report and accused me of lying about the solicitor advising me that a refuge would not be suitable she said it would be highly unlikely i was advised that The L./A solicitor kept bringing the past up instead of concentrating on the positives and the now. Everything i did was apparently not enough. My ex is so evil when we had the case sent to another judge to look at it came out that my ex told the L/A that he had contact with me in the July and got my new number this was a complete lie and made me so mad he was carrying on sticking the knife in. I do not know if this malicious lie played a part in ruining my chances of getting my boy's back. The evidence was not argued out in court my solicitor and barrister said i had a good argument and what the L/A and cafcass were saying in their statement's should have been challenged. But the judge/s did not allow this to go ahead and the judge signed my babies away against my consent on the 27/11/2017. I do not feel i had a fair trial. They is so much more i can add but do not want to make this any longer for people to read. I love my son's unconditionally always have and always will they deserved for me to be given a chance they deserved to be with me their mummy and not been brought up by stranger's a couple where they will not have a mother's love. Forced adoption is wrong. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG YOU TO SIGN AND SHARE..HELP ME TO TRY AND GET THE ADOPTION REVOKED AND BRING MY BOY'S HOME WHERE THEY BELONG IN MY LOVING ARM'S.



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