Petition to rescind Ryan O'Donoghues "Non-Virgin" status

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Our dear friend Ryan "King Blandy" O'Donoghue tragically got a girlfriend and lost his virginity, it has only gone down hill from there. We want the old Ryan back, this is what we miss from our dear friend:

  • His anger
  • Him attempting to mute his mic quick enough to not let anyone hear him crying on Call of Duty.
  • Ryan used to take us to Maccies spot up the local talent in his Bad Boy, Red Seatbelt Corsa; not anymore. 
  • Ryan was a keen member of the sesh. He couldn't drink a lot but he'd at least try to get entry into Q Club Internationale.
  • We need a LW on Pro Clubs who will do unnecessary fake rabona's and score finesse goals from the half way line.
  • We want the Trolley Boy from Saino's back not some posh upper class BMW apprentice.
  • We need someone to organise the Bambinos holiday who is over 18.
  • We need our Silverback Grandfather back in our life.
  • We want the boy who spends £300 on gaming equipment and BB guns back.

Daddy, we miss you. Dump the Ball and Chain and come, rescind your non-virgin title and come and play Xbox. For the few, not the many.



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