Hi Mitron,

My name is irrelevant, but my problem is not.

Like all of you, I too am excited to celebrate Diwali! It's that time of the year when, I could veg out in front of the tele, while binging on unhealthy amounts of sugary stuff. Like I've been doing every day for the past 2 years.

But, this not-so-rare treat of a day, is ruined for me, because people keep bursting Lakshmi gundu, throughout the day.

It isn't just the animals and birds that are afraid of the loud noise they make. I am too, and I write this petition, to consider little ole me, and maybe... Stop... Doing that?

This is not some goody-two-shoes, "Oh think of the environment" bull-hockey! This is a cry for help!

I have always hated loud noises. It reminds me of that time as a kid, when my parents shouted at me when I cut school to go play lagori, or that time when I got single digit in my maths test, or that time when I stole 10.Rs to buy Kurkure, or at each other because of my dad's drinking problem. To this day, I get jumpy even when I hear a bus horn. That's why I don't drive and totally not because I don't know how to drive.

Besides, what is thepoint of lighting up a pataki just to make it go boom and make yourself half-deaf in the process? At least the others make pretty colors, while not making any noise.

So please, think of the dogs, the cats the birds, and me.

Actually, fuck theothers. Think of me. Think of this poor ole anonymous petitioner who just wants to veg out and get fat watching television, peacefully. Let this be an auspicious and jump-scare free Diwali, for all of us. Especially me.

Help spread the word and save me from this irrational traditional.