Protecting *OTHER* Important Aspects of Disney’s ‘The Little Mermaid’

Protecting *OTHER* Important Aspects of Disney’s ‘The Little Mermaid’

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Conrad Lovejoy started this petition to GOP and

As an attempt to coattail all the racist white soccer moms with literally nothing better to do than to make a petition pretending they’re concerned about their three year old being confused about the hair color a Disney character from the 80s...I’d like to follow their lead to ensure another important original aspect from Disney’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ remains intact. That aspect being the ENORMOUS PENIS masquerading as a tower in the background of the movie’s poster that was distributed to theaters across the world. If the made up sea creature’s red hair is so unflappable in the wine-saturated minds of these true patriots, then the triumphantly veiny genitals depicted in the background might ought to take a more prominent foreground position. Perhaps Ariel’s signature red hair could be lovingly wrapped around the shaft in the new posters. Whatever the case, we need to ensure that, like our brave predecessors have done in their trailblazing attempts to hide their disgusting racism, we keep ALL the original aspects of this Disney classic intact lest their children who were born decades after its release become confused. WHO’S WITH ME?!

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