Get my friends to stop calling me gay

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For a while now, my friend Daniel has been calling me gay. This is troublesome as I am not, in fact, a homosexual. I have tried multiple times to attempt to reason with him but to no avail, he is persistent. He is convinced that I am in fact sexually attracted to men, despite numerous attempts to convince him otherwise.

Please, if we can rally up enough people to tell him I am not gay, we could potentially get him to change his mind. He might move on, start a family, form a business and die a happy man with no regrets. With your help we can make this a reality

UPDATE: Now all my friends are calling me gay. The petition is no longer directed at a single individual



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