Peace From Family Whatsapp Groups By Blocking Users In The Group Without Notifying Them
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I’m sure every person who uses Whatsapp will have one version of this problem. There is always the family spammer – the lucky ones have one and the unlucky ones have two or more. I personally have three!
These people are the bane of my digital existence. I love Whatsapp and use it to keep in touch with family and friends as well as work. What I don’t love about it though is the random, incessant and pointless forwards.
We all get added to family groups we can’t exit because its impolite and when we muster the courage to exit it, we are promptly added back to the group since it clearly was a mistake.
This is my typical day:
I wake up in the morning and the bombardment has already begun. There are 37 different forwards of “Good Morning” messages, of which 90% is the handiwork of one enterprising and over-enthusiastic relative. This individual is fairly nice in person, but the moment they move out of sight, the Mr. Hyde version surfaces, one who is also the personification of Bad Netiquette and is just discovering things like the internet and these amazing things called photos, videos and fake news.
Every morning, this person feels its his/her duty to “educate” the group about new tech innovations such as a rising sun GIF with “Good Morning” in bright red. This is quickly followed by “news” varying from the blood moon turning people evil to how drinking coloured water can cure cancer, heart disease and other ailments.
This bombardment continues through the day with photos of lunch (not his/hers, but random photos of nice looking food) followed by videos of ceremonies in temples. This pious video is quickly gets the “Thank You” emoji from the believers in the group, since it looks just like a “Namaste / Namaskaaram”. This is the first reply anyone gives during the day because in India, one does not ignore God in any format – digital or otherwise.
Next is a string of videos with Ayurvedic cures for all possible issues in the world. These aren’t links to videos – THESE ARE FULL VIDEOS. I have honestly received a video which says colouring your palm red with a sketch-pen can cure sinus infections and have seen this being used at a later date! I’m looking at you Big Pharma – this person can ruin your business in a single day but chooses not to cause he is cool like that.
In the evening, this person is in a relaxed, almost introspective mood. Starts the evening casually with a few funny videos of movies that were relevant when he was a child. Then there are “brain teasers” which are essentially forwards from the early 2000’s when people used to inflict pain on us via email. You know for a FACT that these brain teasers are good because its composed in 14 different fonts, 3 sizes and 6 colors with a minimum of 373 emojis. This is where the "geniuses" of the family get active – solving puzzles and giving out answers, sometimes WITHOUT correcting the spelling errors which were in the blog they copied the answers from.
Then there is silence during dinner and then the “Good Night” spam starts. First slowly with some choice songs and anecdotes. This is followed by “jokes” and cartoons and finally ends with 32 GIF’s of the moon, stars twinkling, a video with some music with a BIG RED GOOD NIGHT. There is also a video of Gods saying Good Night in a kids voice which is the stuff nightmares and this person chooses to send the same thing every other day!
I typically get ~100 messages a day on this family group and all the files are 10mb+ because who cares right? Internet is cheap and sometimes even free!
I would like the following Changes Implemented:
1) My first request is a way to block a person on the group so their messages don’t land in my “inbox” but the rest of them who choose to get it can still see it. This should be done without having to exit a group. I want to be in the group but not get the messages
2) I should be able to filter and auto-delete messages from a particular person in a group
3) The mute button is not useful – you don’t get notifications, but when you open whatsapp, the first thing you see is 373 unread messages on this group, 90% of which is from the same person. Like a pin to the top, I don’t mind if there is an “anchor” to the bottom so these notifications never get to see daylight
4) I want to be polite and be part of the group but also not want to be tempted to throw my phone every 2 minutes because of the constant SPAM. You can penalize companies for SPAM but you can’t sue family
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