The Great Great Drought
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"Dear World, we have a devastating problem at hand, that only you can solve.
For too long, have we watched, and for too long have we stood by, but now that time is over, now it is time to act. You only have to walk into his room at res to feel the effects of what has become of Dimitri, which are similar to walking through the kalahari.
With a small donation, you can help us, make the world a better place for one small Greek boy, by curing him of the deadly disease known as "Chronic Novaginaitis" otherwise know as The Drought. This disease causes irreparable harm to not only the mind, but to the penis as well, due to the lack of use, it eventually shrivels up, and falls off entirely. But all this can be reversed, if we stop Dimitri's virginity from growing back (the first symptom of the drought). Although, if we don't act fast it could be too late, as even the contact of the cashier handing him his change at the local shop arouses Dimitri to the point of busting a nut.
So please, send money for a hooker, send a hooker (male or female he's not picky) or send through some numbers of people you know would be keen to jump start this Greek economy.
Any donation is greatly appreciated, thank you."
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