Think of a hedgehog. Small, adorable creatures that may be prickly on the outside, but have a heart of gold on the inside. These are unanimously S-tier animals that everyone loves.

Now think of a groundhog. You don’t want to, do you? That’s because groundhogs are disgusting creatures that herald only winter and sadness. They may have a fluffy exterior, but they have hearts of stone that seek only to inflict pain and hide in the ground before they can take any of the blame. 

One thing is clear: Groundhogs suck, and it’s an egregious mistake that we have an entire day named after them. However, there is a solution. Like any animal, groundhogs are extremely vulnerable to shotguns. Though I am in support of gun control laws, I think people of all ages should be allowed to have shotguns for the sole purpose of driving groundhogs off the planet earth. Think of it: no more six weeks of winter, no more annual celebration of the worst animal with “hog” in its name! If you want to get creative, you can even make a recreational activity out of it! Groundhog Shotgun baseball! Bowling?! Think of all the options, and sign this petition today.

edit: Muskrats, too. Muskrats also suck. Shotgun them too.