At 16 weeks pregnant we found out we was expecting a little girl by a private gender scan. We was so chuffed. We named her leighlethia kornelia white...a few days had passed and I noticed I was leaking fluid. Just little gushes. I went hospital to find out it was an infection. So we thought untill the next day I gushed quite a bit I knew it wernt right. But hey it was an infection right? after alot of reasearch on the net it just didnt add up! 20 week scan came round and instantly I asked 'sounds silly but have I got waters in there' she said why do you think they have gone so I said yes I keep gushing fluid. Thats when my life was tore apart! They confirmed the worst that indeed my waters had gone I was diagnosed with Pprom meaning preterm premature rupture of membranes. We spoke to another doctor fetal medicine specialist. And explained that her lungs wont develop properly without the amniotic fluid. As they have to intake the fluid to be able to expand the air holes that need oxygen in them to pump the blood round her body in order to survive....her chances were slim he said I just felt like running out and hiding as much as a brave face I put on I had that ball in my throte when he gave us the option to induce the pregnancy now or keep on going and hope for the best. I knew deep down I could never forgive my self if I induced so I let her make her choice for herself. she was delivered at 26 weeks pregnant. when ur told to push should feel like joy that ur meeting ur baby any moment soon! It wernt like that for us the whole room was in tears as I said I didnt want to push it wernt happening its not ment to happen. Me and leighlethia had our agreement that we was to make it to 30 weeks. The doctor scooped her up in the palm of his hand as she,was delivered. My tiny baby was fighting for her life when I say tiny she was just only 1lbs 13oz they worked on her to get her stablelized the doc came over and said were sorry theres nothing else we can do. I begged and Begged for them to try one more time. Few mins later which felt like hours I got to see her tiny face with her tiny little eyes peering at me. She was taken up to nicu at leicester royal. She made a little improvement untill my heart completely shattered the devestating news that her lung collapsed. The doctors did every thing they could as I begged again for the 10th time that day. He said sorry we cant do anything else we have to turn the machines off its not fair. I knew then I had to let her go. At 9:30pm she took her last and final gasp of breath in my arms. My brave bright blue eyed dancing queen was gone...why me? There are so many survivors why her? It wernt untill her death I actularly realised the REAL stats of survival with Pprom. Id shoved my head in the sand thinking id have the survivor instead id been left feeling so numb and cold like why me? No I joined a pprom loss group and it made me feel like it wernt my fault and there was so much hidden whilst riding the roller coaster of Pprom. So here we are today to get Pprom out there and known about. america are ahead of us and as for a much respected friend caroline combs mummy of connor another pprom baby that lost his battle she has now gotten two official awareness days in memory of her son. So today as I said I would and my promise to leighlethia we want two awareness days in memory of a very brave little girl for the UK Pprom is hardly known about if we get the awareness days I hope to share her full story further to make pregnant women more aware and make those doctors listen if ur unsure. I never knew,about pprom untill it happened to me. Like with anything u think it will never happen to you...yes I was one of those. Please help by signing and sharing. You may have to confirm your email. So please check email when signed to ser if you need to confirm. Thank you all so much xxxx
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