Make England Win in 2022 by Vowing to Commit Suicide if they Don't

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This year, we saw something amazing. England started to perform well in the World Cup. Then they were performing really well, so well in face that they made their way all the way up to the semi final. However an unfortunate and unforseen loss to Croatia left the team devastated and the hearts of many thousands of fans broken. I never want to feel this pain again. Today, I propose to you, a loyal fan of the England Football team to sign this petition. By signing this petition, you are agreeing to motivate the team to strive towards greatness in 2022 as a signature means an agreement to commit suicide if they do not win. The more people that sign this petition adds to the pressure and therefore motivation the England team will feel for the next World Cup. By threatening to end your life if our great team doesn't win, you are giving them a real reason to fight to lift the cup at the end of the next World Cup. Please take a second to sign this signature, as you will be increasing the likelihood of a win for Elegant England in 2022. And if they lose, what do we have to live for anyway?

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