Make the US National Anthem 'Funkytown' by Lipps Inc.

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It is my proud belief as a citizen of the wonderful United States of America that we deserve better. No, not in a political or economic sense. We need a new national anthem. Our current anthem is one so long and boring, we don't even sing most of it. Every time it plays, we rise to our feet in solemn silence, often wishing we could be somewhere else, listening to literally anything besides an overenthusiastic and tone-deaf volunteer belt it out, or even worse, be forced to mumble-sing words like 'o'er' as best we can. It is evident we need something...new. Something better. Something good.

Something like Funkytown by Lipps Inc.

Yes, the full 7+ minute version. I guarantee you everyone will revel in pride for their great nation both while singing this God-given banger and while jamming the hell out during the lovingly constructed instrumental intermissions artfully placed throughout the song. I believe Funkytown, in every essence of its being, is a true reflection of America, its people, its ideals, and its sick beats. 

So please, show your pride for this wonderful country. Sign this petition, and I will deliver it to Donny Johnny Trump himself, demanding that, in an act of pure justice, he change the national anthem to Lipps Inc.'s masterpiece.



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