Make "Hysterical Parade" by d.c.R. Pollock the new National Anthem

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The U.S. is in state of turmoil and unease. With each passing day we are becoming the punch line to every joke. Our spotless and reputable name is being tarnished and mocked. There are many causes and blames to be made, but the one being over looked and deliberately ignored is that of the National Anthem.

The current National Anthem, The Star Spanker Banter, is old, washed up, got no hook, and lacks siq beats. Its time for a change. A more relevant, eight stanza change. A change that says, "DAMN. I almost don't care that this nation spent 818.2 billion dollars on middle east intervention since 2003, cause this national anthem is TIGHT!" A change that has people raisin' hell and thrown elbows every time its played behind a blaze of rockets at a baseball game or in Syria. A replacement that has patriots and traitors alike asking, "Did he pronounce 'Grauman' right? No seriously. No I won't stop talking. I don't care if its the National Anthem! Just look it up real quick. Grauman. Like the Chinese theater. He said it like 'Goreman'. That can't be right." 

The answer is clear. That change is d.c.R. Pollock's new single "Hysterical Parade". It's a jam. It's a 'We'll ignore Sadi Arabia using your arms against Yemen civilians' jam.

Sign our petition to have our current National Anthem, a long standing poetic triumph of patriotism, courage, hope and inspiration, be replaced by d.c.R.'s five minute ravings about getting a bad hair cut. Now is no the time for doubt. Our nations reputation is in your hands.