Elect Andrew Jesus Skeldinho for Prime Minister

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'Big Dick' Andrew Skeldinho - perhaps better known by his various alter egos of Jesus Christ, Mohatma Gandhi, John Lennon, and Lee Harvey Oswald - has been a universally admired enigma since the beginning of time. Even though he would not be born for another 65,000,000 years, even the mighty T-Rex's miniscule arms quivered in fear at the thought of facing off against the 13 incher Skeldinho.

Andrew Skelding was first born approximately ages ago, under the alias 'Julius Caesar'. Unfortunately, he was brutally stabbed by his fellow Geography teachers/Roman dictators due to pure jealousy of his massive knob.

This was only the beginning for Big Boy Andy. Besides the aforementioned, he has also left his mark on history by being resurrected as Richard the Lionheart, Macbeth, Adolf Hitler, Vladimir Putin, 'Slick Willy' Bill Clinton, Morgan Freeman, Franz Ferdinand, Leonardo da Vinci AND Leonardo DiCaprio, Phillip Schofield, Holly Willoughby's tits, a particularly sharp mango, a fat dog, and your nan. All these pale in comparison to his current form of a humble Geography teacher and certified lad.

I think I've expressed my desires effectively. Restore the Archbishop of Banterbury to his former glory, listen to the desperate Mexican people who clamour for his guidance, free Pablo Escobar, reveal who killed JFK, arrest Russell Cartlidge for Ukrainian war crimes, and ELECT ANDREW SKELDINHO.