No more customers in retail stores before they destroy everything we love

No more customers in retail stores before they destroy everything we love

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Sarah Bingley started this petition to President Donald J. Trump

Imagine you’re at the beach, building a beautiful sandcastle. You’ve paid so much attention to detail— you even made a tiny trapdoor and windows! Moments after you finish this masterpiece, some absolute buffoon sprinting across the beach steps on your sand castle. He didn’t mean to do it, his intention wasn’t destruction. He didn’t even realize that he had destroyed your hard work! Much like you in the story, retail workers work so hard, only to have their hard work destroyed by customers in a moment of thoughtlessness moments later. We can spend an hour facing, organizing, or stocking an aisle or display, only to have it completely desecrated by a single customer. 

Further, customers are dirty. They leave trash in the floor, track mud in, and spill drinks. These are all things that retail workers (often getting paid minimum wage or slightly above it) have to clean up. Our job is to help keep the store clean, yes, but we are not maids, and we are sick and tired of cleaning up messes. 

Also, the bullshit they try to pull is (occasionally) impressive, but (always) exasperating. No, I will not risk my job to manually override a coupon that you clearly do not even come near the requirements for, and no, I will not accept your very clearly heavily used dog harness as a return because it “just didn’t fit!

Thirdly, customers just are not as funny as they think they are. The “if it doesn’t scan/doesn’t have a tag, that means it’s free!” joke wasn’t funny the first time, and it’s not funny the millionth time. Unfortunately, I still have to laugh and pretend to enjoy it in the name of good customer service, and making you feel good about yourself. THAT is the kind of behavior that I hope to put a stop to in the proposed customer ban. 

Unfortunately, retail worker’s grievances against customers go even further than mild annoyances or inconviences. Some customers mistake basic human decency and kindness for flirtation, and make unwanted advances on cashiers. This is uncomfortable, and we don’t understand what is attractive about our customer service voices and plastered on smiles. No, you cannot “get my number,” and you most certainly cannot “know when I work again.” (seriously, this is unnerving, it’s actually very uncomfortable, please stop doing this!)

For these main reasons, among hundreds of others, I would like to propose a complete ban of customers in all retail stores. The stores will remain open, retail workers will continue to work, but the only difference is that there will be no customers, making our job simpler and making our work more efficient. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, please consider signing to help your local high school kid working retail as a part time job out. 

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