Demand That Josh Gates resign and give his job to me

Demand That Josh Gates resign and give his job to me

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Ron Giesecke
Ron Giesecke signed this petition

Josh Gates has been traipsing around the globe unencumbered by the 9 to 5 responsibilities I have as a county worker in Northern California.  if it isn't bad enough that he's speculating about another Bethlehem birthplace in Galilee, he's hanging out with ad hoc sleuths in Boston, ruminating about  plexiglass cache box buried Byron Priess in 1982, while standing near Paul revere's House.

Gates continues to spelunk, cave-dive and talk to locals about the infamous DB Cooper getaway jump, while I have to watch him from my Northern California home, hoping I can solve a cryptogram from a department-store magazine.  The lop-sided sense of purpose I feel by watching Josh Gates, every time his metal detector goes off in a cacophonous fashion, is chipping away at my soul.  It is literally taking an ax to the root of my vocational ID.  I live in abject fear that he's going to find the Ark of the Covenant, the Lindbergh baby, or Jimmy Hoffa jammed into a milk carton while I'm outside with a weed-eater, trying to please Abraham Maslow.

Josh Gates must resign, and make me his heir-apparent.