Take Francesca and Antonia to your cousin's wedding on March 23rd!
This petition made change with 174 supporters!
Francesca and Antonia deserve the opportunity to attend Dave and Mike's cousins wedding. As sisters ourselves, we understand how important family events are, and as members of a family that has never had a cousin marry (yet, fingers crossed), we would love to get some practice runs in before our relatives start tying the knot. As reported by the DailyNews, HuffPost, TODAY! (great interview BTWs) and other random news outlets that show up in a Google Newsfeed, Dave and Mike have had quite the application pool! Antonia and I know a thing or two about intense audition processes, as we both attended the prestigious and pretentious learning institution that is Hamilton College, and then after earning degrees in groundbreaking and lucrative fields like Visual Arts and Hispanic Studies, moved to Boston together.
Since there are so many applicants, we need to stand out from the rest of the lovely ladies competing to win their hearts. Here are 5 reasons we should be chosen:
1. We love ponies too.
From your centaur-themed selfie, we can safely assume that the bros love a majestic equine. Antonia and I have been horseback riders all our lives and enjoy these magical creatures as well. Although the only photos we have are, sadly, in physical form and hung in our parent's home in New Jersey, you can safely assume we are professional equitators. Weddings sometimes involve horse-drawn carriages, and the brothers can rest easy knowing we sisters will feel 100% at home in the carriage, next to the carriage for photos, and even, if necessary, taming the horses in the event of a run away horse-drawn carriage incident. We humbly promise to save all patrons from a horse hooves stampede in Saratoga, NY.
2. We are familiar with Central NY geography.
You may be thinking to yourselves right now, why is this an important fact? Well boys, we wintered many a storm in our days up in Utica, NY, so we are prepared for the harsh weather of March 23rd. Many a potential date might show up in winter-inappropriate weather, perhaps heels and a short skirt, but WE ARE ALWAYS PREPARED. Not only do we know how to dress for any occasion, we know how to dress for 'lake effect' snow. We are not tunnel and bridgers who think the right outfits for the middle of December involve tube tops and black spandex, we are 100% prepared for 100% chance of whatever-the-weather-may-bring.
3. We love America.
Don't get us wrong, other countries are nice, important even, but AMERICA is the BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. Antonia and I love all things American and we are proud to be back-to-back world war champs. Although we are both vegetarians (turn on, we will save your cousin dolla-dolla bills when it comes to ordering our food) we miss hot dogs and hamburgers and the American tradition of the BBQ. We have found other ways to celebrate our great country, including Civil War reenactments, Freedom Trail rides, illegal fireworks displays, and marathons of the entire 7 seasons of The West Wing. We own some matching American flag tank tops that would look lovely with your America bathing suits. We love America so much that Antonia and I have been known to yell out of our Subaru Outback, "HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE AMERICA?" to strangers wearing flag-memorabilia.
4. We know how to have a good time.
Antonia and I are sisters of mature tastes. We enjoy our Keystone Ice cold, our solo cups red, and our parties full of friends, bros, and the Apples to Apples Helen Keller card. As you can see from our photos in front of a beer pong table, we are a great addition to any party. In fact, you might not have guessed from said photo, but we actually planned that out-of-doors GO BLUE YOURSELF party to celebrate spring, college, and getting up at 6 am to start drinking. BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT. Seriously though, we are a great addition to any party primarily for our dance-floor moves. We are the first on the dance floor, and the last off the dance floor, we are basically the awesomest on the dance floor. We are not afraid to break a sweat, put up our hair, and take off our heels if the occasion arises. In short, we sisters know how to get down.
5. We can dress the part.
Sissy and I are fine looking ladies. Antonia is the tall one who enjoys brisk rows on the Charles, shopping sprees at Trader Joe's, and a relaxing word search. Francesca is the short one who can be found reading the craigslist missed connections section, riding bicycles over the Longfellow bridge, and perusing Netflix for lesser known romantic comedies. As sisters, we are comfortable in winter, spring, and summer attire. As demonstrated in the photos, we also love Christmas trees too!
Antonia and Francesca are the ideal candidates for this positions. Please help us spread the word and win the hearts of Dave and Mike!
Today: Francesca is counting on you
Francesca Villa needs your help with “Dave and Mike: Take Francesca and Antonia to your cousin's wedding on March 23rd!”. Join Francesca and 173 supporters today.