I was a foster child when I was young and its not as appealing as the system claims

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My children were removed from me on January 03, 2017 and that day they took my babies from me and how they went about doing so was beyond CRUEL it was STONE COLD HEARTLESS and TRAMATIZING and to me it was all VERY unnecessary. I do not believe that San Bernardino County should be able to make you feel like your a bad parent also they shouldnt be able to come and just remove your children from you the way they do for any and every reason. Esspecially not in the most INCONSIDERATE manner its not right or fair to the children or parents. Then at court on paper they lie and COMPLETELY over exadrate things to make you look like a MONSTER. They say the system is suppose to help children and be In the childrens best intrest but people see so many foul things that occur to and around children when they are in foster homes. The courts and social workers sit there and thurally look into the parents whole lives litetally but what about the foster parents why dont they do the same thing to them before they become foster parents. You would think that they would esspecially before  they are allowed to have our precious babies put into there care , thats like putting them in harms way and I know first hand about that I was in foster homes and group homes as a child and witnessed and expirenced some unpleasant things at the fault of the system. Well back to how they removed my angels. I guess it started in December of 2016 they said that they had recieved a call from someone that said "I was homeless and living in a park bathroom with my three children who are always dirty and hungry and I recieve aid from the county but am apparently not using it for my children but for drugs and that I had been given offers to get my children off the street but I refused them because I enjoyed being out there like that" and afterwards I guess cps went to the park many times on different days I guess hoping to find us there but they did not find us there obviously at that point you would think they would notice the 1st warning that this call probably was a call that was made out of spite or that they were false accusations. If they were actually concerned they would have properly investigated the situation before you decide that the that they dont take care of their children. How can you make that decision about a person before you have even met them. Anyways I guess after they did not find us in the park bathroom or anywhere that they were told we would be. They went to the community center in the park that helps with after school programs and summer and holiday activities and things of that nature, they went to them and gave our discriptions and asked if they had seen anyone who fit it to please contact them as soon as possible because my children were being neglected and might be at risk of ssomething that might harm them. Ok now that you know where there intrest sparked up and began here is where, when and how things actully happened leading up to the call. I became homeless October 29, 2016 and had been seeking help the entire time from friends, family, welfare, catholic charities, every homeless assistant program that I was able to find thru 211, rehabilitations programs, and tords the end shelters and finally I put post on fb and a family member did as well seeking some kind of help. I went to the welfare for their homeless assistance program and they told me that because it was only a once in a lifetime program and I had help thru the program 10 years prior, so they couldn't help me at that moment but that in January 2017 the new lawscwould take affect giving families in similar situations the help they need thru the homless assistance program,  plus the aid for all my children because at that very moment I only recieved foodstamps for all 3 children and myself and cash aid only for one child because of there rules and I had got sanctioned because I didnt finish gain because Its really difficult to try to attened focus and complete someting that you have to go to and be away from your children esspecially when you know your not very stable. So where ever we were since I know it wasnt a permanent living arrangment anything could happen at any given moment. So 310 with 3 children a month isnt a whole lot to work with you know but they made me the first appointment they had in January 04, 2017 thats the first date they had because of christmas and new years and stuff that's the soonest date they had but she said that I would recieve help that day for sure. So I made it, I called all sorts of programs put in request for help and things like that but I was seeking help. Never where my children neglected it was difficult and ive had my ups and downs but I was a good mom not PERFECT but a GOOD mom. Ok so basically we struggled but my children always had what they wanted and needed because we were here and there all the time I figured for my angels to really not focus on all the things we were gping thru I would take them to a after school program at the center that they had for kids in the summer for the kids with all sorts of activities when I picked my babies up one day they asked me if they could go to day camp I wanted to say yes so bad as us parents do we want to be able to give our children the world If we could. l didnt have the money but for my babies I would always do my damdest to give them what they asked for esspecially because I felt so guilty that we had to struggle like that because I never wanted or Intended for any of this to happen so I read over the application for the day camp to get a ball park figure of the amoutvi would be looking tords and I seen a attached application for a scholarship for the day camp and so I filled them all out and was grateful and excided for my babies because they seemed like they really wanted to go. It took a few days to get approved but when it did we took them and dropped them off we had been staying at various friends houses and motel rooms and once so that my babies wouldnt be in the rain we needed to sleep in a rwstroom at the park it was only one time and it was only because since we didnt have a vehivle we had to walk everyehere and from where we were to where we needed to go was quite a distance so it was not planned or wanted but I didn't know what else to at that very second. As soon as the rain stopped we headed to a motel room to rent our room. Well after all that chaos we were extreamly tired so we all fell asleep ofcourse but we woke up late so we arrived late to there firat day at day camp we were so in a rush to get there that we first arrived to tske them to day camp then my fiance went for there lunchables. Well I areived as usual to pick my children up but this time one of the staff approched me and informed me that a couple of cps workers had came by to speak with my children and that they wanted yo speak to me. Well little did I know that agreeing to speak to them was the worse thing I could've did, they asked all sorts of questions but answered them in the same sentence like if I was guilty of what the person said when they called it in a couple minutes after we began talking a police officer entered the room and told me I was being arrested for warrents I had for tickets for driving without a licence, and some  drug related misdemeanor warrents that I had got when my children were with there dad. Well because I was going into custody they were able to remove my children so the way that social worker did that was heartless and wrong so dam unnessesary I felt lost broken angry and just helpess I didnt know what to do. Then the next morning when I was released I found out they jad separated my girl from my son to srrangers I wanted to die because I couldn't believe what was happeneing. When I went to the first court hearing they were able to place my children with their father and they tested me after court and I was clean as I told them I was. It wasnt until after I spoke to the social worker that I began to do drugs again because she told me that because my rights were terminated for my son who I had when I was 17 and cps adopted him put and terminated my rights to him because of that by law they were not obligated to reunify me with my children even though I had explained to her that my son was not taken from me by CPS but his by his dad he was taken and even though I was given the chance to be given services to get my son back I was terrified of returning to the group homes because I had ran away from. So I know It may sound rude and messed up I didnt know what to do nor was I In the position to do It I was young and stupid and easily minipuated so I did not fight for him I just had given up. There is a difference between me then and me now I raised my children now for 9 years with out a problem and was requsting for her to send me to a rehab in patient program and she refused she said that thwy wouldn't fund me because I had beeb give services before and that I should they would fund for a outpatient like drug court and i told her i couldnt so i got myself into a inpatient rehab for 30 days with my medical insurance and soon after i completed tge 30 day impatient program I enrolled and am still attending a out patient drug class 3 times a week and a week after i completed the 30 in patient program i got a job with a staffing agency for Burlington Coat Factory Warehouse In Redland california which I still have I work m-f 1pm-10pm  and after I complete the out patient class Im going to enroll and get a parenting class done ok even though Ive done all this even though It hasnt even been 6months the worker still says that she recommend that my children not be returned to my care that thought was and is unbearable. Please someone help this is so unfair.



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