Recognizing that Columbus is an archetypal symbol of white colonialism and oppression,

And recognizing that Columbus participated in and propagated the enslavement of people of color,

And recognizing that our country should move on past our sordid history and white supremacy into the new hope that awaits our country as we progress to a higher state of consciousness and awareness,

And recognizing that Columbus, Ohio is named after the oppressor Christopher Columbus and was certainly not named before him,

Let it be resolved that Columbus, Ohio is renamed to something suitable of our new understanding of appropriate names and of our desire to reclaim history from the colonial whiteness and replace it with something beautiful and uplifting.  Let us name it Towny McTownface. 

Anything other than this will continue to aggrieve our society.  We will accept no middle ground or partial concessions.  Towny McTownface or bust.