Ban Conan Gray From Drinking Coffee

Ban Conan Gray From Drinking Coffee
Why this petition matters
Ah, where do I start?
What a sad day it was, July 8th, 2021. That is the day when singer/songwriter Conan Gray posted to his Instagram story bragging about his coffee intake, asking followers how healthy they think his organs are after an astounding three coffees. However, this was not the first time that Gray had posted about his unhealthy habits.
Gray's millions of followers have seen his Instagram stories throughout the years, many of them being merely a close-up shot of coffee. It is estimated that Gray has drank a total of 15,000 coffees over the years: an unhealthy amount for anybody. But really, Gray is not the problem. It's the people who continue to sell him coffee who are creating the issue. They are single-handedly ruining his organs and his overall health. This is why he needs to be banned from ever purchasing another coffee. From casually entering a Starbucks and being handed a latte that could ruin his insides. From purchasing coffee beans from a grocery store and playing "Barista Boy" in his LA home.
Gray doesn't know what's good for him. He wants what is good now; so everytime he has a craving for another coffee, he simply gets one. Ups his caffeine level. Drinks and drinks and sees no consequences. Little does he know, his organs have actually turned to coffee. Yes, this is true and not made up. If we were to surgically cut open his stomach, there would be coffee instead of blood. His organs would be made entirely of coffee. And the only way to reverse this is to completely cut him off. It's what needs to be done. It's what's best for Conan. Help me reach a simple 5 million signatures to accomplish this.