The Coronarita is an iconic drink consumed by millions of Americans each year. Composed of the finest ingredients in the world, this beverage is a trademark of American culture. Sexretary Eich once said, “The USA without Coronaritas is like the moon without mutstard, it’s just the moon”. And, as any true American patriot knows, the best Coronarita is served by a holy and glorious establishment named Chili’s. The discontinuation of this savored, no, this sacred drink is an abomination to the food and wine industry of our world. More horrific is that this is a direct violation of our 3rd Amendment rights! 

I hereby-therefore-thuswise call upon the 699th Congress of the United States to hold Chili’s accountable. We must ensure that Coronaritas are forever on the Chili’s menu and readily available to powder loving, steezy, shredders. 

God Bless Coronaritas and God Bless America. AMEN.