Change.org killed my family in a Dorito factory.

True story.

It was a dark night. I could barely see my hand in front of my own face, and believe me, I’ve tried. I was stuck on a stone platform. Stay on the stone. Break that rule, your petition privileges will be revoked. Change.org was cruel, cold, and unforgiving. I nodded as they said, “You also need to keep out of the barn. Too many ladders and rusty old pieces of Dorito making equipment. Set foot in there, and you will regret it in the extreme.”

I disregarded this. 

It was a horrible mistake on my part, but I did it anyway. I stepped off the platform, and skipped right on in to the factory. It was dark, just like outside. My hands groped around in the dark for the light switch, and soon enough, a click was to be heard and the lights shuddered on with a noise like a vibrating, continuous echo.

That’s when I saw them. I screamed as I saw my family bound tightly together on the path to the main Dorito slicer, slowly with piles of orange crackers. I watched as they slowly were turned into Dorito slices. I knew I should have listened, but I could not resist. I made a mistake. I knew I could not return. I ran out, a single tear falling from my eye.

Into the dark I traveled. I know it was quite a journey. Most wouldn’t have made it this far. I sat on the bench of stone, pondering my next move, when I felt cold steel wrap around me. I was held tightly bound, and that is where I sit now. Bound. I am nothing if not entrapped. Hurry, before I am killed, you must sign this petition.