Return the Horn

Return the Horn
The Declaration of Will Moyano, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to resent the Carole which has held them down them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Sound and of Physics entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to own a megaphone.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all noise is created equal, that it is endowed by the lungs with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Literally cheering on a football team with a megaphone .--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Students, deriving their just powers from the consent of the megaphone, --That whenever any Form of Tyranny becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to secure the megaphone, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Megaphone. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Students; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the Carole is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Students. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
She has refused to return the megaphone, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
She has forbidden her students to make Change of immediate and pressing importance.
She has refused to allow students to protest bogus suspensions
She has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing her duty to fair treatment to all.
She has made teachers dependent on her will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
We, therefore, the Students of Putnam City North, in consensus, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Dictator Fred Rhodes, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of this school, solemnly publish and declare, That these Students are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent Individuals with rights to megaphones; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to Carole Buhr, and for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.