Kanye West (wealth be upon him) is more than just another celebrity propping up the hit parade; he is the greatest human being of our time, a latter-day Moses whose Coming was prophesised on the front of David Bowie’s seminal work Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. (There’s a sign saying “K. WEST” on the cover; look it up on Google Images if you don’t believe me.) Moses brought Ten Commandments down from Mount Sinai; Kanye (wealth be upon him) has already brought us six studio albums – with a seventh due out soon. (I admit I haven’t actually listened to any of his music, but that’s only because I consider my humble ears to be unworthy of such auditory genius.)
Sadly, Kanye (wealth be upon him) has been not always been afforded the respect he deserves. We cannot undo past wrongs such as retroactively giving Taylor Swift’s Grammy Award to Beyoncé any more than we can save Jesus from crucifixion (although technically God kind of took care of that), but we can show our appreciation in other ways, and what better start than renaming Canterbury West Station to Kanye West Station?
*See above for an artist’s impression of the proposed changes (giant gold Kanye head optional).
I see this as the first step towards a brighter future when the whole of Canterbury is renamed after Kanye (wealth be upon him); visitors can come and go via Kanye West Station or Kanye East Station (or indeed, Kanye Bus Station), pilgrims can flock to Kanye Cathedral to pay homage to the great man, and the sick and the injured can be healed at Kent and Kanye Hospital (I’d love to see the “Kent” in that last one changed to “Kim” but I accept that might be a step too far for some people).
Let’s make the dream a reality. Sign the petition today!