Fingering unconscious Brock Turner and John Tompkins since it’s “not a crime”

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According to the legal adviser of Brock Turner(a convicted sex offender who shall hence forth be referred to in this memo as either Rapist Brock Turner or RBT)his conviction is wrongful. John Tompkins claims that Rapist Brock Turner penetrating a woman with his fingers while she was unconscious was “not anywhere close to a crime”. 

I therefore motion to have RBT and Tompkins passed out under a tree and penetrated by fingers. As they do not believe it to be a crime, I do not foresee them having any opposition to these twenty minutes of action or said twenty minutes causing them any life long harmful effects. 



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