Protect my children from the abuse courts ignore!

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I have never posted my full story--my children's story-- on social media before. But it's time. We need a voice in a world where abusers are protected and victims are punished.

I have been divorced from my ex husband for 8 years...after an abusive and controlling 10 year marriage. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically abused. I was financially cut off and punished for deciding to further my education, which ultimately ended our marriage. Going back to school was a big no no. And in the end I was raped. Not once. Not twice. But whenever he felt I owed him something, which was often. But while pinning me down with his 250lb body weight, he always reassured me by telling me that if I didn't look like such a whore he wouldn't treat me like one. That always helped. Then after divorcing he gave me a list of rules. I wasn't to date or remarry. I lived in constant fear.

Once I finally moved on into a serious relationship, my ex pulled me into court, fighting for custody of our 3 kids. I ended up agreeing to shared parenting hoping he would move on and be happy. Less than 7 months later he pulled me into court again---after learning I was pregnant by my new husband. Another year of court dragged by. Last march, my ex pulled me into court again. This time because he found out I was getting married. But this is where I must back track.

Three years ago, my 11 year old son went to school on his dad's week with supplies to kill himself in the school bathroom. He had taken multiple box cutters, a knife, and a razor and his dad didn't even notice. He carefully wrote a goodbye letter and gave it to a friend. Luckily the friend went for help and I was able to get to my son and seek help before he succeeded. Since then I have heard the details of the horrific mental and physical abuse my son suffered at the hands of his father. Choked, hit, smacked in the face, and the best one---he handed my son a knife and told him to get it over.... Just go kill yourself. My son stopped seeing his father completely. And I spent the next 3 years, 7 hospitalizations, and somewhere around 20 tried and failed and tried again medications, rebuilding my son. Depression, anxiety, and PTSD have taken a serious toll on him. Three years of wondering if he would live another day. All while hearing more and more about his abuse from his therapists.

Details of the mental abuse against my sweet perfect 9 year old girl have become known as well. Her father calls her "little Amanda" when she misbehaves. When she chose an adorable pixie haircut, he told her girls are ugly with short hair and left her sobbing. She has reported being punched in the chest and kicked. He has dragged her across floors by the arm. He allows his family to grab and yell at her.

So back to now.....last March my ex pulled me into court again...after hearing I was getting married. He verbally assaulted my now 17 year old son, called him a snake for messaging his mother on his time. He went on an angry, jealous rampage because I didn't give him exact details of my whereabouts. He blew my phone up demanding to know where I was. I was in the Bahamas....on my honeymoon.

The GAL on our case has favored my ex husband unapologetically from day one. She refuses to acknowledge therapy and medical records documenting the abuse to my son. My ex is perfect after all. She absolutely will not take any of the abuse into her thought process. She doesn't care that my ex has ruined these innocent kid's childhoods with abuse and constant court battles. She refuses to see the manipulation. Her interest isn't my kids. Her interest is my ex husband.

I am now fighting for my life. I say this because my kids are my life. Two months ago my ex husband blind sided my son after school. Set a trap to get him alone after 3 years. And because I immediately showed up and fought for my son to not be around his abuser, I'm the bad guy. I'm the horrible mother preventing her innocent ex husband from abusing his son further.

Please, I need just one parent to tell me they would have remained cool and collected in that situation. This is a genuine request. I need to know if my reaction was as terrible as they're claiming. Because in all honesty, I believe most mothers would attack first ask questions later when protecting their child. But they are burning me at the stake.

No one listens. I literally have no voice. I could say the grass is green, but once my ex husband says no, Grass is not green--- I am a liar. I have issues thinking grass is green when my ex obviously knows it isn't.

I don't know what to do. But I'm running out of time. I've been silent. Until now. I can't stay quiet any longer. How long can this GAL and this unqualified county court continue destroying lives? I fully believe she is biased. I REFUSE to sit back and allow my kids to be abused any longer. The people who are SUPPOSE TO PROTECT innocent children fail. Lets protect the poor abuser instead. After all, children are dying every day from abuse and neglect. But that's a lot of work so yea.

How do you fight an obviously corrupt system? I won't stop. Not until we are heard and my kids get justice! 

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