Dear Eli’s Mile High Club management,

We are your patrons; the punks that have spent countless hours, dollars, nights, breakups, makeups, proposals, birthdays, and taco Tuesdays in your courtyard. 

Since the bleachers have been gone, the vibes are off. We need our communal perching spot. Unlike the bleachers, where patrons of different backgrounds could commingle seamlessly, meeting new friends, sharing space with strangers turned friends at the end of the night, this new all table set up is stifling! You simply cannot fit that many gays -or dogs- in one table. The bleachers were the perfect place to debut your new boo or casually spy on your exes. Punk (cotillion) is dead. For real, we need more seating.  

We worry that only upstairs seating will encourage an elitists vibe - we loved the accessibility of the bleachers. Both upstairs and bleachers can exist! We feel that the elimination of the bleachers is a decrease in the fun sociality of Eli’s backyard.

This isn’t just a drunk petition, it’s a movement. Don’t forget about us during your remodel 

#BRINGBACKTHEBLEACHERS 

Sincerely,
Your Concerned Eli’s Patrons