Show Your Support For This Cranky Old Man and A Rad Skateboarder Kid To Run The Government

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** By signing this petition, you are sending a message to Bill English and James Shaw that there is a community of voters out there that believe in the possibility of a government being run by this cranky old man who hates change and this dope teen who does the meanest ollies at school is a good idea. We are asking them to have a genuine conversation and explore the idea before it’s too late! **

Currently we are sitting in wait for notable salty dog Winston Peters to choose who is going to run the country. After watching all the pundits in media flap their big ol yaps about what the next government would look like, I started getting pissed off maaaaan, everyone has been ruling out the possibility of a coalition between a geriatric man who finds butter chicken too spicy and a skux kid who can fidget spin while grinding on his skateboard and rightly so as both parties have basically written it off. 

BUT they have left the smallest of doors open, which I suppose would be a cat flap, for our country to try and squeeze our over bloated body through when we've lost the key.

That’s where we come in! By just taking off our clothes and greasing ourselves up with butter, maybe we can slip on through!

I genuinely think there is common ground between old man Peterson  and J-Dawg Dawson, which could result in practical policy wins for New Zealand. Policy like you're not the boss of me and I don't want to get out of bed come to mind. Unfortunately, the notion that the two parties have nothing in common is so well written into their fabric, it’s considered to be not worth exploring or seen as politically dangerous.

J-Dawg Dawson has said he wouldn’t consider forming a government with that glorified sack of bones and skin because it would go against the wishes of his parents who don't think a 14 year old boy should be running a government despite the fact he's rad as all hell. This maybe true but after speaking to some matches on tinder I've found that they would be more open to the idea of a racist old man who thinks his nurses are trying to steal his teeth teaming up with a 14 year old boy who cheated on Tina by holding Mary-Anne's hand for an hour running the country over spending an evening with me at Denny's and I ask Mr Shaw to hear these people out.

Bill English also needs to take stock and be open to the potential that a government run by man who can only stay awake for six hours a day supported by a boy who gets random boners can unlock for New Zealand by hearing that this is also something a large block of Bumble uses would love to see as well instead of my face again.

A coalition government between a man who should of been dead years ago with a teen who uses a vacuum cleaner to fake hickeys on his neck for the next 3 years can ensure New Zealand with a government with choice as education policies like making Jackass 2 essential viewing in all schools cuz that's some dope ass shit you gotta see to believe mixed with sensible crime law like sending everyone off to war because damn it, it worked for Old Man Peterson and it'll damn well sort out all these thugs, the same can’t be said for any government with NZF!

This election season has brought about many extraordinary results and circumstances, it’s only fitting we at least try this now.

Voting every three years is only a small part of what can do to make sure our leaders hear our voice. I would love your support via a signature, but a share on social media can make all the difference!



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