#Saynotobullying in the beauty industry

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Anita Kanitz
2 years ago
In a way, bullying is an ordinary evil. It's hugely prevalent, all too often ignored - and being ignored, it is therefore condoned. Trudie Styler

Changing laws and changing the political dialogue, while necessary, is insufficient to ensure that bullying stops; to ensure that every young person is supported by their parents and their teachers as they question who they are and they discover who they are regardless of the sexuality. Chelsea Clinton

Mobbers, bullies and stalkers form dangerous alliances with others to destroy the victims. With teachers, principals, supervisors, classmates, alleged friends, colleagues, neighbors, even family members. The only goal is always to destroy the victim. That's why we should always believe the victims and never the perpetrators.
Anita Kanitz

Bullying is a sad everyday life in all schools and leads to many school dropouts, depression and suicides. Bullying is much more common among girls than among boys.

My brother was initially badly terrorized and beaten by girls and boys in both elementary schools. In the second elementary school, the allegedly nice young class teacher hit and abused the boys and all those who reported his abuses must be have been taken to the special school by his opinion. Only when this sadistic class teacher beat a boy in front of the class hospitalized, the bullying at the school ended, because then his successor and the rector removed all teachers and students from the school who mobbed.

After elementary school, I came to a notorious high school where brutal teacher mobbing and student mobbing was the daily routine. Without the support of friends, girlfriends, teachers I would not have survived this school time.

Already in the first year almost all my female and male friends were outgrown by the female class teacher, the mathematics teacher, the first rector and the girl mobbbing clique.
The third school year was the knocking out of my last girlfriend.The class teacher gave herself nice and friendly, as did the other bullying teachers and all parents fell for it, believing their lies.
The female class teacher said, after my friends were gone from the school to me, that I was not knowing to be on the right side, it could be very hard to me, to be friends with the wrong people. And I said, I know where the wrong people are. After her comes a sadistic class teacher, who was more bullying than her.
It was sad for me to see all my friends and girlfriends go, to see their tears and to see that two girlfriends left the school totally bullied to a nervous breakdown.
Nothing changed, when I came to another class. These mean girls were more terrible than the girls in the class before and they were connected with two female teachers, which were terrible bullies too. They were working hand in hand.
Female Teachers and male teachers were also mobbed away from the school in a brutal way. There were daily property damages, verbal and physical violence, thefts, even drugs were involved. Victims who resisted were declared mad by the bullying teachers and female classmates and there were successful attempts to get the victims into the local psychiatric ward. Also, I could not finish my dance class, because here also the female class bullies appeared and the son of the dance school principal, with whom I danced, complained about the disturbances of these bullies. I left the dance class and did not have to pay anything, but my female dance school principal found harsh words for my parents who, despite my requests, did not want to take me away from this terrible school.
I finished, as far as I know, as the only bullied person, the school with the final exam and I was according to my class teacher the absolute school best in the history test. I later always refused invitations to class reunions, who wants to meet such people again. Forty years later, a seventeen-year-old bullied boy made a killing spree and mass shooting at this terrible school after cruelly being bullied in depressions for years.
And now some other facts to bullying:
The following examples show the importance of support for the bullied:
My little brother initially suffered a lot in elementary school. In the first school, he was beaten by a pack of girls on the way to school and an alleged girlfriend of him destroyed his satchel and his school supplies. The matter was not pursued because the school was of the opinion that girls supposedly do not do this. A girl was a well-known bully, she and her sister were called by all but the devils, as long as I was at this school, I had the younger students protected from them and I had thereby also many friends. Then we moved. In the new school, the misery continued, as my brother was beaten bloody by a mob on the way to school and his school supplies were destroyed, an alleged friend of him still photographed the brawl, my parents went to the police, as well as the school did nothing because the perpetrators were all 12-14 years old.

Girls are the born bullies and hypocrites. Who has best girl friends, often has best enemies. They bully not only at school, but also in the family, later in the workplace, in the university, in the neighborhood, in the free time and above all under mothers.

And they are quite violent. In the first grade of high school I had to drive with the female class bullies in the bus and right at the beginning three of them attacked at the bus stop, threw my school things in the dirt. I knocked the bully leader to the ground, pushed her face into the dirt and forced her to pick up my school supplies while the other girls howled. That gave me a six-year bullying at this new school.
After all my female and male friends had being bullied in the first three years out of this terrible school, I had only female acquaintances in the last three years in the school and class, who call themselves my best girl friends,but they were almost all helpers of the bullies, I knew that.

Even teachers who gave me high grades, such as the physics teacher, whom she included several times in rooms, the teacher for knitting and cooking, who exhibited my work and once had to give me a grade worse, because the parents of the bullies made a great terror and the female drawing teacher, who also exhibited my work and where each time the teaching material was stolen and the teacher and I must looking for that all the time.

Things got even worse in the new class because of these girls banded together with fellow bullies from the lower classes, and I just had bullies and their male lovers on my neck.

Once I was followed by a whole horde on the way from school, two female mobbers and their lovers, threatened to rape me. I turned around and kicked the two mobbers, calling them whores, after that they howled. The young men applauded and there was no talk of rape and the leader said hello every time he saw me later, hello, you brave girl.

Another younger female bully who had already beaten and terroated my brother at school tried to run over me with a bike, which was going for her bad, because I brought her down and beat her. Then she and her friends stopped bullying.

The female bullies in the new class also attacked me in the classroom, whereupon I also attacked them and called them syphilis-eaten whores. Then they ran howling to my new class teacher, who then asked them smiling, well, is not that the truth?

When they attacked me hard from behind during a physics lesson and I then beat them with my ruler, they indignantly demanded that my physics teacher punish me. Well, said the teacher laughing, after these ladies finally got what they deserve, thank you Anita, we can continue with the lesson.

What I mean by that is that especially men and boys have protected me against these attacks. Special thanks are due to the second new principal, my new class teacher, the janitor of the school, my physics teacher, my biology teacher, most boys in both classes.

In gymnastics I was particularly attacked, especially because the female gym teacher, a real slut, sleeping around, was also a great bully and I had caught her kissing my married second bullying mathematics teacher. The gymnast's and some girls' attacks during the class were absolutely dangerous because they were aimed at physical injury for me during the sport.

My complaints about it to the class teacher and second rector were successful, the gymnast and the girls were warned. My thanks go to all who supported me, especially these two teachers. Here I would also like to thank the boys of the school, who have procured for me the expensive shoes stolen by the girls during the gym class.
A boy from my last class called the female bullies in front of everyone else and me, that the female bulles were so stupid, that Anita had more wisdom in the little finger that these girls in the whole head.Thank you very much my dear class mate for these words.
Especially I must thank my history teacher, who was also my last class teacher. In a classroom incident, when a female bully showered me with powder and we got into an altercation where I also showered powder on her, that class teacher had the entire class detained after my complaining ( I was full of powder and in rage) . He literally said that he does not tolerate bullying in his class, and during the aftermath the whole class might consider how long they want to stay at this school. Because in another bullying incident, the bullies would have to leave school. That ended the incidents in the class immediately.
At this point I would also like to thank the caretaker of the school, who has reported a lot to the rector and together with this rector then ensured that many male and female bullies disappeared from school before the last school year.
And at this point, I would like to thank female friends and classmates, which had the bravery stopping bullying actions. There were only a few girls, but there were really some who had the courage.
For decades, researchers thought that boys were inherently more aggressive than girls, and playground scuffles usually ended with a boy in detention. In the 1990s, though, Finnish researcher Kaj Bjorkqvist began interviewing adolescent girls about their interactions. What he found is that girls are no less aggressive than boys; they're just aggressive in different ways [source: Talbot]. Instead of fighting on the playground like the boys, they play subtle mind games that may be even more damaging than a black eye.

For this reason, the Boston Globe's inclusion of Regina George makes perfect sense. 2004's "Mean Girls" was adapted from the book "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence" by Rosalind Wiseman. Regina George's dictates that her friends wear certain outfits on a given day of the week was based on a real high schooler's rules, and Regina's efforts to manipulate the girls in her orbit go on every day in the halls of high schools. So how do girls get to be such big bullies?

Up until the age of 4, kids tend to show aggression in the same way; they'll grab toys out of another kid's hands or push someone who makes them mad [source: Talbot]. But researchers at Brigham Young University have shown that girls as young as 4 have learned how to manipulate their peers to exclude kids and become the queen of the sandbox [source: Starr]. They'll tell lies and secrets to get other kids to shun the offender.

That means that before kindergarten, girls have started practicing relational aggression, a term that's been used to describe the type of bullying that's the specialty of adolescent girls. Rather than just bullying weak kids they hardly know, as male bullies do, female bullies go after their closest relationships. The female bully is hard to catch in action and difficult to punish; there is, after all, no bloody nose to serve as proof. Instead, victims carry emotional scars resulting from the bully's habits of spreading rumors, leaking secrets, savage put-downs, backstabbing and social exclusions. Bullies may demean a person's choice of clothing or exclude a friend from the guest list for a popular party in order to gain social status within a group of girls. At the same time, they send the victim into social exile, a particularly painful place for a young girl.

Boys also tend to bully others in order to gain social status, so it seems that bullies share certain motivations -- need for attention, fear of competition, anger at the way they're treated at home. And in the long-term, female bullies suffer as much as male bullies, because eventually, those closest to them tire of the manipulations, though there's a lack of research as to whether female bullies turn to drugs and alcohol and end up in jail at the same rates that male bullies do.

There are a few key differences, though: Male bullies come in all shapes and sizes, from the popular football captain to the social outcast, while female bullies tend to be the popular girls (another factor that may help them escape punishment). And while some male bullies appear to lash out because they haven't developed empathy for others, girls seem to possess ample amounts of empathy; so much so, in fact, that they know exactly how to harm a perceived threat. Because girls tend to put so much emphasis on friendships, female bullies know how to get a fellow female to divulge a secret, and then she knows how to reveal it in a way that will maximize the embarrassment for the victim.

During middle and high school, it may be important for parents to remind their daughters that true friends aren't manipulative, negative or mean. Such a warning may seem commonsense, but few things make sense in adolescence. Unfortunately, the high school cafeteria isn't the last place where a woman will go up against a female bully.

If you've ever been shot repeated glares at work, omitted from an e-mail chain or meeting where you should have been included or received a humiliating public lecture that could have just as easily been delivered behind closed doors, then you were likely up against a workplace bully.

In 2007, the Workplace Bullying Institute released a survey that showed just how common this phenomenon is; according to the survey, 37 percent of U.S. workers have been bullied on the job. As on the playground, bullies are more likely to be male than female (60 percent of perpetrators were male), and the bully is usually the boss.

What many news outlets jumped on when this story came out, however, is how frequently women pick on other women. While males in the workplace will bully other males and females at equal numbers, female bullies will go after someone of the same gender 70 percent of the time [source: Klaus]. Discussions of why this problem exists involves considering some gender stereotypes about how we expect women to behave.

For example, bullies, no matter their gender, go after those who are less likely to fight back. Because women are sometimes thought to be more docile and less combative, both men and women may exploit that perceived weakness when they pick their targets [source: WBI]. Another explanation portends that women are more sensitive to criticism, making them more likely to hold grudges and act on them later [source: Klaus]. Some argue that women, relatively new to the corporate, office environment, haven't learned the fine art of competition, or have adopted male-identified behaviors, like bullying, to get ahead [source: Meece]. Because they are new in the workplace, it's also possible that their behavior is being overanalyzed, and the slightest deviation from the stereotype of a nurturing female is considered bullying [source: Meece]. On the other hand, because women are new to positions of leadership, it's possible they don't want to help the women who may replace them [source: Klaus].

The Workplace Bullying Institute contends that since most bullies are bosses, and because many women tend to be in charge of other women, the bullied subordinates are doomed by virtue of having a female boss. A 2009 study published in Psychological Science found that bully bosses (male or female) tend to lash out when they feel inferior and unqualified for their position [source: Callaway]. While this provides a lowly worker with a tip for dealing with a bully in charge (flattery), it also echoes some of those earlier theories as to why women bully other women. Because women, racing to crash the glass ceiling, are still token females around the office, their behavior might be scrutinized far more than a male's. If a female has faced difficulties in getting to her position of leadership, she may still face doubts about her staying power in a male-dominated world. So, in a somewhat vicious cycle, such a female may return to that emotional manipulation she picked up at age 4: bullying.

books about the crime bullying:

Sexual Harassment and Bullying: A Guide to Keeping Kids Safe and Holding Schools Accountable by Susan L. Strauss:
Despite headlines that label all harassment among youth as bullying, there is in fact a difference between sexual harassment and bullying. This book discusses the similarities and important differences between the two, offering firsthand accounts from victims and others involved in combating the activities that victimize students. It provides parents, youth advocates, scout leaders, and other concerned adults with practical steps to partner with schools to prevent and intervene on the behaviors to help keep kids safe. The book clearly identifies the steps to take to hold schools accountable when a student has been harassed or bullied, even when the school is not stopping the behavior. Providing examples throughout the work, Strauss helps readers become better acquainted with the various activities that constitute sexual harassment and bullying and what they can do to combat the problem.

Anyone's Daughter: Amanda Todd, Bullying, Anonymous and the Dark Side of the Internet by Quinn Alexander :
You know the story, now learn the truth. Amanda Todd was an ordinary Canadian girl who made the mistake of flashing online. An online predator captured the image and used it to blackmail her. When she refused to give in to his demands, he sent the image to her classmates, friends and family. What followed was harrowing few months of bullying that culminated in Todd's suicide at age 15. Anyone's Daughter explores how that could happen to a girl like Todd and examines the intense, worldwide and sometime horrific reaction to her gut-wrenching YouTube video and the anti-bullying crusade that followed.

To This Day: For the Bullied and Beautiful by Shane Koyczan:
An authentic rallying cry for anyone who has been affected by bullying. In February 2013, Shane Koyczan’s passionate anti-bullying poem “To This Day” electrified the world. An animated video of the lyric narrative went viral, racking up over 12 million hits to date and inspiring an international movement against bullying in schools. Shane later performed the piece to sustained applause on the stage of the 2013 annual TED Conference. Now this extraordinary work has been adapted into an equally moving and visually arresting book. Thirty international artists, as diverse as they are talented, have been inspired to create exceptional art to accompany “To This Day.” Each page is a vibrant collage of images, colors and words that will resonate powerfully with anyone who has experienced bullying themselves, whether as a victim, observer, or participant. Born of Shane’s own experiences of being bullied as a child, To This Day expresses the profound and lasting effect of bullying on an individual, while affirming the strength and inner resources that allow people to move beyond the experience. A heartfelt preface and afterword, along with resources for kids affected by bullying, make this book an invaluable centerpiece of the anti-bullying movement.

Odd Girl Out: How to help your daughter navigate the world of friendships, bullying and cliques - in the classroom and online by Rachel Simmons:
When Odd Girl Out was first published, it ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. Today the dirty looks, taunting notes and social exclusion that plague girls' friendships have gained new momentum in cyberspace.
In this revised and updated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons gives girls, parents and educators proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics online, as well as brand new classroom initiatives and step-by-step parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. Including the latest research and real-life stories, Odd Girl Out continues to be the definitive resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.

The Sociopath Next Door by Stout Ph.D., Martha:
Who is the devil you know?

Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?

In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work by Dr. Paul Babiak (Autor), Dr. Robert D. Hare (Autor) :
Revised and updated with the latest scientific research and updated case studies, the business classic that offers a revealing look at psychopaths in the workplace—how to spot their destructive behavior and stop them from creating chaos in the modern corporate organization.

Over the past decade, Snakes in Suits has become the definitive book on how to discover and defend yourself against psychopaths in the office. Now, Dr. Paul Babiak and Dr. Robert D. Hare return with a revised and updated edition of their essential guide.

All of us at some point have—or will—come into contact with psychopathic individuals. The danger they present may not be readily apparent because of their ability to charm, deceive, and manipulate. Although not necessarily criminal, their self-serving nature frequently is destructive to the organizations that employ them. So how can we protect ourselves and our organizations in a business climate that offers the perfect conditions for psychopaths to thrive?

In Snakes in Suits, Hare, an expert on the scientific study of psychopathy, and Babiak, an industrial and organizational psychologist and a leading authority on the corporate psychopath, examine the role of psychopaths in modern corporations and provide the tools employers can use to avoid and deal with them. Together, they have developed the B-Scan 360, a research tool designed specifically for business professionals.

Dr. Babiak and Dr. Hare reveal the secret lives of psychopaths, explain the ways in which they manipulate and deceive, and help you to see through their games. The rapid pace of today’s corporate environment provides the perfect breeding ground for these "snakes in suits" and this newly revised and updated classic gives you the insight, information, and power to protect yourself and your company before it’s too late.

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Loretta McDonald
2 years ago
Loretta McDonald

Thanks for adding your voice.

Kirsten Steward
2 years ago
As a beauty therapist of 30+ yrs it's important to stand up for my peers in the industry.

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Melissa Cricks
2 years ago
I’ve worked in the beauty industry for about 15 years and have either experienced first hand or been witnessed to office bullying in every beauty company I’ve ever worked for. Truly hope this petition can make a difference!

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Yasmine Hussein
2 years ago
I care

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crystal Wood
2 years ago
Women should lift each other up. The truth is sad and change is impossible unless we are honest.