AFL to issue sanctions against Collingwood FC for bringing the game into disrepute

AFL to issue sanctions against Collingwood FC for bringing the game into disrepute

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Australian Football Community (minus Collingwood) started this petition to Australian Football League

Over 4000 Collingwood members and supporters (so far) have signed a petition seeking a review of the 2018 AFL Grand Final that took place on 29th September 2018 at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

The game was won by the West Coast Eagles, who defeated Collingwood in a fantastic contest. To be clear, the game was WON by the WEST COAST EAGLES. Dommy Sheed kicked a ripper goal with less than two minutes to go! For anyone wondering how epic the winning goal was, please click here.

Some very sour, salty, angry and seemingly unstable, possibly demented Collingwood fan has taken it upon himself to issue a petition that has belittled and quite honestly, besmirched the very fabric of the great game of Australian Rules Football.

Bringing the game into disrepute with such abhorrent suggestions of umpire bias, umpire cheating and just downright skullduggery from the men adjudged the best officiators in the business. The behemoth that is the AFL can't be dragged through the mud and have it's great name tarnished by such infantile, derogatory and fabricated lies! 

It would also seem the petition starter has very little knowledge of the rules of Australian Rules Football, and has been overawed and intoxicated by the utter insanity that has been caused by the juggernaut that is the West Coast Eagles Football Club. To lose to a better, stronger, tougher, harder, more skillful, more athletic, better coached, better equipped and better supported side is nothing to be ashamed of. This particular Collingwood supporter can't seem to fathom that the WEST COAST EAGLES were the winners, fair and square.

So, it is the opinion of the general football public (minus Collingwood fans, truth be told) that the Collingwood Football Club should somehow be sanctioned by the AFL, for allowing their rabid, toothless, salty, and just generally uncouth supporters to bring the showpiece of the Australian Football League into disrepute, and the entire game along with it. 

Suggested sanctions are as follows:

  • All Collingwood supporters (identified by Collingwood pariphernalia, or complete lack of dental hygiene) WILL be fumigated, vaccinated and disinfected before being allowed entry into ANY AFL sanctioned event.
  • All Collingwood members will be surcharged $100 each, with proceeds being split between Gil McLachlan's Coaches Dinner fund, and the West Coast Eagles end of season footy trip.
  • Eddie McGuire to be sacked from the Collingwood Football Club and removed from any commentary role on any TV network in the world.
  • Joffa to have his gold jacket confiscated, and burned, all whilst he is made to watch with the West Coast Eagles theme song being played repeatedly at full volume.
  • Mason Cox to be charged for impersonating an AFL player.
  • Collingwood FC to reimburse Victorian Police for the search and rescue mission that was started in order to find Steele Sidebottom on Saturday afternoon. He was found safe in Mark Hutchings' back pocket.
  • Collingwood FC to complete a ballot for their members. Ballot winners will be given the honour of assisting the umpires at every Collingwood home game in 2019. Duties will include cleaning the spit valve on umpire whistles, making sure Simon Meredith's hair is set in place perfectly before every centre bounce, waxing and polishing Matthew Nicholls' head before and after every game, ensuring no Collingwood players are included in the Brownlow votes, and pulling the umpires out to the middle for every Collingwood home game in their newly created chariots.

This despicable act by Collingwood supporters needs to be addressed and the club punished. There is no place in the AFL for such disrespect, idiocy and downright cheek. The football community deserves justice for this misuse of public resources and the filthy Magpies should be made to pay and pay handsomely!

Gil baby, it's over to you my friend! Make it happen!

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